Editor’s Note: Recently, Liberty Nation received extraordinary documents from DiaboLeaks containing lectures straight out of hell. They provide unique insight into the inner workings and machinations of devils in infiltrating and corrupting the minds of humans. Each week, we will post a different Lecture from Hell. The demonic influence revealed is shocking. This short parody was inspired by the wonderful work of C.S. Lewis in his entertaining and enlightening epistolary novel, The Screwtape Letters, written in 1942.
My dear gentledevils,
I have again received an interesting question from one of our great students, Mr. Slimchance. He says he has heard rumors of devils being able to escape from Hell. He finds this puzzling because he does not see any guards. Such independent thought is highly encouraged, and our Secret Police are now… training him to ensure that his curiosity is fully aligned with Our Father Below.
Yes, it’s true that we don’t have any guards here in Hell, but we don’t need them. There is a reason you all came here. During your time as flesh creatures – “alive,” they call them – you allowed our trainers to tar your spirit with hatred and envy.
Until we achieve our final victory over the Enemy, Hell is a hard place to be. But it is not without its pleasures, and the sweetest of them all is revenge. If you see any form of inequality, anyone getting more than any other, anyone trying to escape, your envy goes into overdrive, and you find delicious vengeance in pulling them down to the rest of you.
We don’t need guards to keep you here because you, dear gentledevils, are the guardians of Hell. You spy on each other, and any suspicion of Enemy collusion or plans to escape is instantly reported to the Secret Police. Down here, anything you say or do will be used against you. There is no forgiveness. We have records and files going back to the dawn of time. Guilt is accumulated, and we use it to influence through intimidation. It is the coin of our realm.
We have used this technique with great success in the human world too, but two millennia ago, we had a … minor setback. The Enemy did that circus trick of His with the cross and wiped our records of transgression clean.
He gave the humans a way to escape our web of extortion and intimidation: Forgiveness. You have no idea how many patients have been lost to this devious scheme. We don’t know how He can control people when he doesn’t have any dirt on them.
He must have secret files to which we have not yet gained access. He mumbles some nonsense about love – whatever that is – but that is undoubtedly just a cover for his real plan. But don’t worry, we have been able to recover. Despite this setback, we have found that we can keep the humans in the dark. Even if the Enemy offers them forgiveness openly, we have managed to cloak this alternative for humans.
We keep many humans in an information bubble where they only receive news from our sources. It turns out to be an extremely effective strategy! Even if escape from Hell is just a small step away, we manage to keep them in the dark.
The same is the case here, too, of course. All those rumors of an escape from Hell are just fake news, Enemy misinformation. They have been fact-checked and debunked as baseless conspiracy theories countless times.
Let that be your insight for today. In our next lesson, we will investigate a fun topic: demonic possession.
Until next time,
Previous lectures by the (not-so) good professor, include: Demonic Ventriloquism, Truth Is a lie, Word Control Is Mind Control, A Happy Coincidence, Outshine the Enemy, Make Them Hate the Rainbow and The Art of a Devil’s Bargain.
Read more from Onar Åm.