Adulting is hard. Leaving behind the safe space of the parents’ basement, taking out god-awful amounts of student loans for that unemployable period after earning a liberal arts degree, and eating ramen noodles can take a toll on the psyche and the flesh. Is it fair to be doomed to live with one’s poor choices in this participation-trophy world? Doggonit, why do college students have to suffer reality?
Apparently, millions of degree seekers have found a resource for fulfilling needs and wants. But it comes with a hefty price tag.
According to the website Seeking Arrangement, which appears to act as a pimp or madam might in hooking up willing young ones with older wealthy companions, 2.5 million US university students are clients. Sugar Babies, meet your Sugar Mommas and Daddies.
Parents, do you know where your children are tonight?
Call Me
Seeking Arrangement describes the ideal candidates for an “arrangement” in no uncertain terms. Sugar Daddies or Mommas are: “Successful men and women who know what they want ... enjoy attractive company by their side. Money isn’t an issue …”
Sugar Babies are: “Attractive people looking for the finer things in life. They appreciate exotic trips and gifts. Sugar Babies … meet wealthy people on a regular basis.”
That is, between classes and study groups. But, really, with all that glitz, glamour, and travel, who has time to crack open a textbook? Well, besides possibly the daughters of Lori Laughlin and Felicity Huffman. But it still seems to describe the seedier side of the escort business. Not that millennials seem to care about the possible stigma of the oldest profession in the world.
If Seeking Arrangement’s stats are correct, Sugar Babies have left their dignity in a haze of fairy dust to pursue the finer things that money can buy – and to remain debt free while earning a degree. Is it so awful to trade one’s soul for a personal ATM that is never empty instead of a financial institution racking up interest on a loan that may take a lifetime to pay back? Testimonials on the website indicate not a smidgen of self-degradation is felt for putting out and putting up with the geezer crowd determined to appear sought-after and still dominate – or hope it appears that way -- in the bedroom. Perhaps Sugar Parents are just the ticket to saving American taxpayers from Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s (D-MA) preposterous plan to wipe out all student loan debt.
And university students hoping to avoid a pile of debt aren’t the only folks applying to be Sugar Babies. Again, if numbers from Seeking Arrangement are any indication, more than 11 million good-looking young folks who can’t make ends meet are now Sugar Babies. Trading food stamps for an AMEX platinum might appeal to a lot of millennials; at any rate, it beats mom and dad’s basement.
Warning to Sugar Babies
It’s a grim world beyond the campuses of secular institutions. And if recent trends are a hint of what’s on the horizon, Sugar Babies might get a surge in applications. Since 2008, when the housing bubble finally burst, school tuitions have meteorically risen, 321% for in-state students and 254% for private colleges. Perhaps that’s why Columbia University is at the top of the Seeking Arrangement’s list for Babies applications. Yes, even Ivy Leaguers are involved in this game of life.
But a fair warning to Babies – get that degree so, in 20 years, you might be on the other end of the Sugar spectrum.
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