Yes, they are back: The crazy coven is once again hell bent on hexing and vexing the president of the United States. Believing they have the magical powers to oust Orange Man this go round with better recipe ingredients, members of #MagicResistance are cackling about the bonfire, tossing bird feathers, toad’s teeth, the old stand-by eye of newt, and fly’s beak into the stew pot, hoping for a “binding spell” major success – a concept which has been just a tad out of reach in the years since Inauguration Day 2017.
The witches dusted off their Ouija boards on a different project a year past, hoping that Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh might be an easier mark to slay than Trump. Alas, his honor is doing just fine. And possibly this is why the group is tweaking its magic mojo: Did they leave out a toad’s toenail or some other ingredient, and will 2019 prove to be the binding of a century?
Although past spells have, well, failed miserably – not once or twice but a multitude of times – it hasn’t seemed to deter the witches from a continual and fruitless effort of making Trump disappear.
Yeah, what is a Binding Spell?
According to a few “in-the-coven” types, a binding spell is simply a metaphysical straight-jacket:
“Typically, a magical binding is simply a spell or working that restrains someone metaphysically, preventing them from doing something. Binding should not be confused with banishing which is to send a person or thing away using magical methods.”
In other worldly words, they hope to hobble the American president.
The enterprising group claims to have just the incantation “to bind Donald Trump and all those who abet him,” and they perform the 60 second bewitching exercise during every waning crescent moon. They plan to keep it up until Trump is removed from office – likely 2025, unless they spellbind the Silent Majority, and those folks all are armed and have God on their side. As former President Obama pointed out, the Midwesterners like to cling to their guns and Bibles.
For those who follow the efforts of our American witches, one enterprising group has a book for sale: Magic for the Resistance: Rituals and Spells for Change. For $9 bucks and some change, folks can cast their own spells at home to support immigrants and refugees, reproductive rights, and anti-fascism, as well as protect the earth. More proof that President Trump’s economy helps his detractors as well.
Witches on The Rise
Will the witches overtake the administration? Probably not anytime soon, although the number of Americans claiming to be Wiccan or Pagan has grown – or maybe people are just finally admitting they are witches on surveys. A small school in Connecticut – not exactly the capital of all things witchy –Trinity College has been tracking the movement. They have documented that in 1990, around 8,000 Wiccans lived in the United States. By 2008, that number grew to 340,000, and in 2014, even Pew Research reported that about a million people identified as Wiccan: That’s a lot of witches, but it’s still not a major voting or hexing demographic when compared to the total population.
So here we sit on year number three, the biding spell was cast Friday, October 25, at 11:59 p.m. and America waits with bated breath to see if altering the ingredients, and adding an unflattering photo of Trump, tarot card, an orange candle stub, a pin, and a feather was effective in ending his presidency once and for all.