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Stranger than Fiction: Witches and Warlocks Trying to Oust Trump

Thousands of witches are dusting off the Ouija Board, suspending cauldrons, stoking fires, and stocking spice cabinets with eye of newt, dragon’s wort, and graveyard dirt as a battle of magical proportion is raging against conservatives and the Trump administration, including a frenzied attempt against confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Apparently, their other-worldly mojo was missing a toad’s toenail or some other ingredient as the good judge is safely ensconced on the bench. [perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=”24″]These witches, warlocks, and gender-neutral occult types are out to cause destruction…[/perfectpullquote]

But yes, this is a thing for practitioners of “magick,” who are pointing a malevolent compass at the current occupant of the Oval Office with the goal of removing the leader of the free world — and most people in his presidential microcosm.

Hexes and spells abound and are apportioned through occult-shared social media platforms with specific instructions to do the most harm.  These aren’t the Glenda the Good Witch or the housewife and sorceress Samantha Stephens of Bewitched variety.

These witches, warlocks, and gender-neutral occult types are out to cause destruction – whether in the spiritual or physical realm.

As William Shakespeare penned, “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”

Toil and Trouble

It is difficult to believe that in 2018 evil is attacking the forces of good and employing the alt left “Resistance Witches” to cast spells of doom and revenge to save what they deem the endangered polity.  And one would never hazard a guess as to the platform America’s witches align themselves – although it should come as no surprise when they offer up advice to their coven and followers to support organizations such as Planned Parenthood: They are a now-publicly welcomed wing (pun intended) of the progressive, socialist, alt-left Democrat Party.

The current hex making the ethereal rounds is one to “bind Donald Trump and all that abet him” – a traditional spell with a 2016 twist utilized by contemporary neo-pagan and other nether-worldly dabblers, which involves channeling coordinated energy to limit Trump’s power with hopes that “he may fail utterly/that he may do no harm.”

Blogger Matthew Gault found the spell and reposted with his own brand of publishing magick, reinventing the ritual using candles, carrots, and the Tower card from a Tarot deck, to be a successful tactic:

“Readers may mock magick’s ability to play a part in politics, but this was the first election cycle — to the best of our knowledge — where the political right employed an army of chaos magickians to turn the tide in favor of Trump. This isn’t a joke. This ritual is an act of defiance, one witches, warlocks, magickians and sigilkiddies should start on Feb. 24 … and repeat every month until we achieve results.”

Sigilkiddies? That’s a dark and twisty subject matter best left to the witches.  Gault himself must be sampling the pagan brews to believe the conservatives of America are rubbing shoulders with “chaos magickians.”  For the love of all that’s holy, what a steaming pile of hog wort stew.

But then there are capitalist witches, such as Stacy Rapp, owner of the oldest witchcraft store in New York City, who sagely advises that hexing can backfire. “All spells work with energy and send that energy towards an intended target. To do a hex on Kavanaugh? You’re giving him power.”

He is on the bench, witches.

A bit of friendly advice: “They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind.”

But as the witchy proprietor will offer her friendly omens to malcontents of misusing energy for selfish reason, Stacy will also sell you a candle, rainbow glitter, and essential oils from her apothecary to get your other positive groove, er, spells on.

Dakota Bracciale, the co-owner of the Brooklyn occult store, Catland, recently discoursed to reporters how successful they have been in dethroning the president:

“We hexed Trump last summer. What happened from last summer until now? I don’t know how many convictions in the Mueller probe; the Stormy Daniels scandal; the New York Times exposé on how he’s a financial vampire. That’s something that I’m very proud of.”

And Trump is still in the Oval.

It also appears that Bracciale might need to cast her gaze away from the crystal ball and focus attention to the failures of the Special Counsel in his ongoing “witch hunt” against the Trump administration.

Divine Intervention

It is rumored that Winston Churchill once said, “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

If he did utter those words, it is doubtful he could’ve anticipated a coven of pagans, Wiccans, and warlocks chanting and casting spells against a political foe.

But let’s face facts, approximately 75% of Americans recently polled have identified themselves as Christian and 80% believe in God.  And a betting man would lay odds that in this country, goodness will triumph over evil through the prayers of millions of Americans who support and wish to protect America, her president, and his administration.

Read More From Sarah Cowgill

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