Editor’s Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation’s longest-running and most popular weekly column. Capturing the truth each week from heartlanders in flyover states, LN gives voice to the hard-working Americans otherwise ignored by the coastal elites.
The amounts of delusional unicorn dust the left is asking heartlanders to ingest has finally reached an untenable level and disbelief across the prairies and the plains caused outbursts of sheer mockery. How else does a commonsense American react when a state supreme court is tasked with deciding the species of a zoo animal? Or better yet, where a person accused of murder – also undergoing a sex change procedure – should be housed awaiting trial. At the end of the day, the pending nuptials of one left-wing liberal had folks looking for the nearest tavern.
Happy the Elephant
The New York state high court heard arguments in the case of Happy, an Asian-born elephant who has lived at the Bronx Zoo for 45 years in extremely close confinement. The plight of Happy caught the attention of the Nonhuman Rights Project. In order to move the elephant from what they describe as a “one-acre prison” at the zoo to a spacious sanctuary, they must redefine her species to human to include a broader base of rights. Yeah, it’s complicated. But, Monica Miller, an attorney for the project, insists Happy can better choose who to hang out with, what to eat – and when – of her own accord.
The zoo released a prepared statement in rebuttal, “The blatant exploitation of Happy the elephant by NRP to advance their coordinated agenda shows no concern for the individual animal and reveals that they are willing to sacrifice Happy’s health and psychological well-being to set precedent.”
No one in flyover states believes in abusing animals to further a political cause. As Sandra Evans in Baton Rouge snarkily pointed out, “Why condemn her to person status?” And in Houston, Gloria Ned thought, “Y’all need to find something else to do.”
Why Is This a Thing?
Alex Ray Scott is in jail for confessing to committing a murder in Manhattan two years ago. The victim was fellow New Yorker Kenneth Savinski: a man who Scott met on a dating app and agreed to meet for a “romantic liaison.” Scott stands accused of second-degree murder and lesser charges of grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. Another internet date night that went horribly awry – but with a new twist. Scott appeared in court with a much longer mane of hair and declared himself to be transitioning to a woman. That comes with the strange liberal policy of encouraging people to identify as what they are biologically incapable of being.
The most significant decision now to be made is not if Scott will plead not guilty. It’s not facing a costly, lengthy trial. Instead, the big decision is where to stick the alleged murderer: a men’s or women’s facility. Flyover folks were nearly incapable of connecting the dots. Nearly. One patriot, Michael Thomas, went all in, “Transitioning”? WTF? If he is guilty, he should transition to room temperature.” And Oklahoma’s John Kelley was right behind Thomas, adding, “I support half of the medical procedure!”
But along came the opportunists like George Sewell in SC: “Yeah, if I ever go to prison, I’m going to identify as a woman!” And then the discussion was in the ditch.
Here Comes the Bride
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) sent progressive hearts into AFib as she announced her engagement to her long-time boyfriend, Riley Roberts. Apparently, they made a deal in Puerto Rico last month at the Ocasio-Cortez compound. Alan Carty moped about in Iowa upon hearing the joyful tidings, “I’m not sure what I will do with myself now that she’s taken.” Others tried and failed to find a picture of the husband-to-be that didn’t feature a scowling face. And then Michell Frame popped in from Rectorville, KY, and asked if AOC had to get married: “Did she get him pregnant?”