GOP Big Spenders, Panda Diplomacy, and a Transgender Jesus?

We start with God. Some believe, some have faith, and some are on a first-name basis. But just to get a controversial 15 minutes of fame, Reverend Flourish Klink, who considers herself a transgender non-binary individual, preached last week that Jesus, God, and, well, even the Holy Ghost had to have been transgender. In happier news, the GOP is spending a lot of money, the DNC is still broke, and we get a couple of pandas back.

Transgender Jesus? That’s a Hard No

Okay, New York City, people in the heartland need a break from the crazy. So you have a non-binary half-Episcopalian preacher trying to get the up-and-coming flock to the Shepherd by explaining why the Big Guy, Junior, and the Spook were obviously trans. Maybe that’s a sermon that could reach one or two, but it’s really not a general congregation kind of message.

Reverend Klink (Not Colonel) said this: “Now I don’t know for sure. I wasn’t there, but based on everything else I know about God, I have an idea. I think Jesus was resurrected as Jesus’s true self, which is beyond male or female. I think Jesus was not only transfigured. I think Jesus transitioned.”

That’s a reach for the message Flourish was attempting to send during her recent sermon. See if you can follow: “Here’s why God is trans. When God, who, as we have established, is non-binary, was born in human form as our Lord Jesus Christ, Mary said, ‘Oh, look, a baby boy.’ God isn’t a boy. We have established this. God is beyond boy and girl. God was assigned a gender at birth, and later on, it became clear that that gender wasn’t quite right.”

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“So, if you’re going to deny God as trans, I think you’re going to be denying the divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I have some notes about that,” Klink continued. Not scripture. Not historical accounts. Just her notes – and she has a lot of notes, she says.

Celene Coble Polk, in Sebree, KY, figured the angry God in the Old Testament might show up at any moment: “I’m waiting for the lightning bolt right about now.”

In North Carolina, Mark Hosley consulted his search bar: “There are over 45,000 Christian denominations and 900 plus translations/versions different English bibles. Christianity has a hard time knowing what to believe.” Yeah, probably not this.

And Sonny Lanager of Bucyrus, OH, chimed in: “I'm surprised that the Episcopal Church hasn't already adopted this as official doctrine. They already wrote liturgies to celebrate transition.”

The potluck has officially been canceled.

Show Me the Money!

For reasons undeclared (but everyone in the heartland knows), the GOP through MAGA Inc., the No Going Back PAC, and the Safety and Affordability PAC is opening the vault and penning a few big checks in red states that were handily won in 2024 by Trump. Some ask, “Why are they throwing money around?” Well, the simple answer is because they can. The GOP still can shake the money tree and have the Benjamins fall off the branches.

Meanwhile, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is still paying off Kamala Harris’ campaign debts it absorbed. There is no money to push the blues without the clues over the line in red state races. They took out a hefty line of credit on their fancy DC headquarters with all those old campaign slogans like “I’m With Her” hanging in the hallway and “Build Back Better" hanging in the bathroom. Yeah, those you have to bury. But the building itself: It’s either pay the bill or get a manicure and a $2,000 phone kind of situation.

And President Donald Trump and his GOP are rubbing their opponents’ noses in it through Election Day.

But some say MAGA candidates need that boost in 2024 red states because the bloom on the Trump rose has wilted. They believe, bless their hearts, that the popularity of the Democratic candidates in red states is on the rise. Maybe, but that will not have your MAGA neighbor redecorating in blue and switching teams. More likely, they will end up eating a pizza, enjoying a good stiff drink, and sitting out the midterms altogether.  

John Kizzlr in Tennessee was teetering. “If you had just kept your campaign promises, it would be a cakewalk,” he said. “People have woken up. You can't gaslight them like you used to.”

John, Trump does not care what you think.

Michael Turley in Huntington, WV, had his say, as well: “Ain’t gonna do much good. At the end of the day the Democrats will take control.” Maybe, but they also will do absolutely nothing but complain about the Big Bad Orange Man.

And, of course, common sense came from a Hoosier, Brian Johnson: “And all they had to do is pass laws the base actually wanted.” Yep. That’s it in a nutshell. Do the job and don’t name-call, rename states and lakes, and for God’s sake end the war with Iran, one way or another.

And none of these people are voting blue.

Now What Do They Want?

China is acting like a bipolar superpower wielding the cute panda bear as proof they aren’t really bad commies. Pundits who have an unhealthy compulsion to name everything refer to this zigzagging happy commie, mad commie routine as panda diplomacy.

Just one day after President Donald Trump met with Chinese President Xi Jinping, the visiting side of the free state/not free state has promised two giant pandas will be sent to Zoo Atlanta as “envoys of friendship.” Okay, let’s set this one straight: Replace (new) and return (old ones) the bamboo-nibbling bears that were hastily removed in 2024 for expired visas. The loaner pandas – two-tone cuties – were part of a conservation and research agreement between the two superpowers. Heck, Pandas have shown up lately in San Diego, too.

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So why do they leave, anyway? The US would willingly lease the critters because some of us will try to pet anything and everything. The problem is that the pandas are a great bargaining chip and allow the Chinese leader to show another country that their government is peachy. Georgetown University published an article about why China lets us play with the bears, writing: “It is quite difficult for a government to speak directly to the public of another country, especially if it wants to impact public perceptions of itself.”

Also, the publication said this in 2024 about why all pandas were returned to China: “The reason for the deal’s expiration is not a single isolated event or condition not being met. It reflects the more general sentiment of the Chinese government toward another country,” said Amb. Barbara K. Bodine, Distinguished Professor in the Practice of Diplomacy and director of Georgetown’s Institute for the Study of Diplomacy.

Somehow this guy not willing to show his real name in Kansas City, KS, had a dad joke at the ready: “I hope they name one Monium. That would be pande-monium.”

But I had to give it to this Georgia Peach Man, G. Scott Gibson, who warned: “It’s Atlanta. Hope these pandas won’t get shot.” Yeah, diplomacy would go right out the window.

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