Satire: A Love Letter to Black Lives Matter

Dear Black Lives Matter,

Today is an important anniversary. It has been exactly several days since I didn’t care that you recently celebrated the first anniversary of your organization’s founding. Over the course of those several days, I have spent very little time reflecting on all your achievements and, in your honor, I would like to list them.

Now that I have done so, I really should add the two triumphs that stand out the most: You have successfully fostered an atmosphere of racism not seen in this great country since the sixties. Well done! Additionally, you have made the murder of police officers strangely acceptable – at least, to the extremists who support your cause, whatever it is. I mention these extremists because of the recent and tragic passing of movie director George Romero. He was the father of the zombie apocalypse, after all.

I could list the black lives that clearly do not matter to you if I had a few weeks to spare. Even if I had the time, however, I would not do so in this article, since their deaths are no laughing matter. Suffice to say, the only black lives you do care about are those whose ends came in a manner which provides you with a means to further your sick, political and racial narratives. When killed by a police officer – preferably, a white police officer – those select individuals deliver your talking-points. If these people were lawbreakers in the process of committing, or attempting to commit, some crime, it matters not to you; somehow, they are innocent by virtue of skin color.

The real insult to Americans of all races, however, is that you, Black Lives Matter, have not even been able to stick to your original raison d’etre.

Let me pause, at this point, while the most intelligent of your members look up the meaning of that last phrase. Take your time; I have coffee.

You started out, whether justified or not, with a mission to highlight an alleged disproportionate use of brutality and deadly force by police officers against black people. Reviewing your website today, it is difficult to even discern this agenda. You have laid out thirteen guiding principles. Of these principles, only three are directly concerned with justice and fairness for all black people; the remaining ten relate to common social justice themes and lean strongly towards the furthering of the LGBT agenda and the more bizarre promotion of various gender-challenged ideas.

In short, you have been completely hijacked by the social justice warriors of the radical left. Progressives have used black people for decades to further their political ideology. You have, once again, allowed them to take a cause unique to black people and turn it into some wussy, socialist crusade against all things normal. Who is behind this, you might ask yourselves if you could be bothered to ask? White people, that’s who; the same species of white people who founded Planned Parenthood with the specific aim of preventing you from reproducing.

In recent months, these people have come to be commonly known as snowflakes. Ironic, huh? Black Panthers all across the country are killing themselves, just so that they can turn over in their graves.

Some of your leaders or sundry other self-appointed spokespersons, not knowing that your original agenda no longer matters, try to keep the flame alive by voicing some outrageous remark on TV or social media. The following quotes have been collated on the True Pundit blog. Take Jessica Disu, for example. Last year, appearing on Fox News, Jessica proclaimed that law enforcement agencies should be disbanded. Marvelous. “We need to abolish the police, period,” she said. “Demilitarize the police, disarm the police…” Which is it? Abolish the police and then demilitarize and disarm them? Is it the other way around? Confusing. One wonders what many black people would do without the police. I lived in an inner-city neighborhood that was, maybe, 90% black. Do you know who I saw, all the time? The police. Most of the time, they were there because somebody had called them. Do you know who called them? Black people.

Let’s move on. Writing on Facebook,  Yusra Khogali reportedly told us, “White ppl [sic] are recessive genetic defects. this is factual…black ppl [sic] simply through their dominant genes can literally wipe out the white race if we had the power to.” Well, hold on, there: If those black genes are so dominant, why don’t black people have “the power” to wipe out white people? Maybe those genes aren’t so dominant. Maybe they are no less – and no more – defective than white people’s genes? Maybe the only difference is that black jeans are often sagging down around backsides, revealing plaid undergarments. Why plaid, by the way?

True Pundit had a few more zingers from other great BLM thinkers, but honestly, what’s the point?

So, a belated Happy Birthday to you, Black Lives Matter – and Goodbye, since you’re all done. The decaf latte-sipping, man-bun-wearing, androgynous hordes of whimpering, whining, white progressive weasels are now steering your little club, whether you realize it or not.

You had a good run, sort of. Well, not really.

Love ya,

GJN