While the media and other leftist elites ignore the millions of folks living in “flyover” states, they do so at their own peril; it was this silent majority that put President Trump in the White House. Each week, Liberty Nation gives voice to the hard-working heartlanders who are silent no more.
Most heartlanders are firmly behind the re-election of President Donald Trump and rarely delve beyond the craziness of the progressive platform most Democratic candidates continue to espouse. But a few inspiring gaffes by the top three clown shoe wearing contenders under the big top have roused the silent majority from their hot economy and low jobless rate coma for a snappy repartee on Facebook and beyond.
Former Vice President Joe Biden was forced to explain to his fans that he “is not nuts.” Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) warned, “And nobody’s gettin’ behind me on a debate stage and doing a handsy thing.” And the frumpy millionaire socialist, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I or D-VT), damn near went down to the mat while pandering to the everyman last weekend.
The butt-numbingly bored electorate in flyover states snapped to attention, offering thoughts, prayers, and catty comments on the recent shenanigans of the presidential hopefuls and left no words unsaid.
Biden: The Master of the Gaffe
If anyone else tried to say as many ridiculous, fact-free, and offensive comments – including the cast of Saturday Night Live – as the former vice president, they would fail miserably. Biden owns the gaffe outright. From the campaign trail, we’ve been entertained by such gems as “Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids,” and the former VP seemingly forgetting Barack Obama’s name when responding to President Trump’s comments: “He’s saying that it was President … my boss … it was his fault.”
But the frontrunner officially struck fear in his campaign manager’s heart when he said, “Imagine what would have happened if, God forbid, Barack Obama had been assassinated after becoming the de facto nominee. What would have happened in America?”
Now we know may know why Obama has yet to endorse his old segregationist-friendly, hair sniffing, handsy pal. Even Mrs. Biden offered a lame endorsement, claiming, “your candidate might be better on, I don’t know, healthcare than Joe is, but you’ve got to look at who’s going to win this election.”
From Marengo, IA, the fun was abruptly derailed when Maury Hartz Jr. commented: “Now where did I leave the Nuclear launch codes?”
“Bless his pea-picking black heart,” was offered by Jessica Stanton in Indiana. “His wife should put an end to his embarrassing campaign.”
Reformed Fauxcahontas
Shifting gears and avoiding further embarrassing DNA test answers, Warren is already declaring she will win the Democratic nomination. And the Massachusetts matron is laying down her rules for the first debate against President Trump. It was a handy two-pronged insult towards Hillary Clinton – who whined that Trump was attempting to intimidate her by waving his hands behind her during the 2016 debate – and a threat to the Donald.
Warren told a roomful of supporters she, in fact, is a badass: “I’m gonna start with—I know how to fight and I know how to win. And—you don’t back down from a bully. You just, you have to be willing to lay into this, right?”
Karen Sissel from North Dakota offered, “Lord, this woman is as crazy as her buddy handsy Joe.” And if Warren is getting her fighting technique from the frumpy socialist, she is in for a world of hurt.
The Comeback Kid Gets Whacked
He did not float like a butterfly or sting like a bee at the Muhammad Ali Center in Louisville, KY. In fact, the disheveled and somewhat fanatical appearing Sanders went toe-to-toe with a speed bag, and instead of looking cool and hip, he took one in the kisser looking well, old, white, and foolish.
Joshing with newsies from Vice, Sanders said he might employ a speed bag to get out “my damn aggression.” He curled up his fists, took a stance, and threw a right jab. The bag, obviously offended, countered with a quick jab of its own, hitting Sanders in the face and knocking him off balance. Sanders second attempt missed the bag entirely. It was great fun for the Midwestern folks.
One liberal 60-something hippy, who asked to remain nameless lest the Thanksgiving dinner be cut short with a food fight, offered her own idea of what Bernie Sanders brings to the table. “He punches like the old socialist white guy he is. And no one in the middle of America wants anything to do with socialism.”
Boxin' Bernie
Wisconsin voters are seemingly solidly in anyone’s camp but Sanders, as Susan Leiber From De Pere chuckled with emojis, “Got his azz kicked by an inanimate object!” And in Durand, Richard Weiss critiqued the main event: “I give that round to the speed bag and I'm deducting a point for being out of his league.”
Fred Maul, from Boise, ID, had sympathy for the ringside drama, “I couldn't do any better because it's been 50 years since I punched a bag......... But Bernie at his age would not be able to take a hard campaign and live to tell about it...his ticker could be about up.”
John Enos from the great state of North Carolina related to everyone on the boxing Bernie post and offered a bit of advice should Sanders continue to pander in the ring: “I've never worked a speed bag in my life, but I've seen Rocky do it like a million times. That's not how you do it.”
Under the big top, Sanders, Biden, and Warren, the “Free Amigos,” once again entertained the folks in flyover country as the 2020 election draws nearer. More likely than not, this week’s shenanigans by the left have increased Trump’s base by a few hundred thousand or so votes, and the president was unanimously declared the winner by a complete and devastating K-O in the Heartland.
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Read more from Sarah Cowgill or comment on this article at Liberty Nation.com.
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