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Flyover Folk Get Fiery Over El Chapo

by | Feb 15, 2019 | Columns, Opinion, Politics

As the hard-working people in the Midwest stop talking about Mother Nature’s mood swings and her pet rodent’s prediction for spring, their focus returns to shenanigans in the nation’s capital. There is a plethora of fodder for debate, with the reluctant announcement by Senate Democrats that there is no evidence of collusion between President Trump and Russia, the call for convicted cartel kingpin El Chapo to finance the southern border wall, and proposed legislation to end congressional pensions.

And Heartlanders did not disappoint.

El Chapo’s Wall

There has been a load of chatter on social media over Senator Ted Cruz’s (R-TX) proposal to use convicted drug kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman Loera’s drug money to build America’s southern border wall. Some find it symbolic or, at the least, karmic justice.

The Chicago boards lit up on the local ABC affiliate and the comments ran the gamut of pro to con and all variety in between. Kay Mays offered her ten cents worth: “Part of the money he has he got it from past deals from our government. So in a way it is our money so why not?”

Yolanda Gallagher agreed and showed enthusiasm for using cartel cash for good rather than evil. “Yes!!!! US Penal Code on ‘the fruit of poisonous tree’ provisions allows the forfeiture of the money earned on criminal operation. Congress cannot say, we cannot build the wall because there is budget. We now have the money.”

Bob Libbe called the idea “brilliant.” But sprinkled throughout the thread of 100 or so were the anarchists looking for trouble. Several called for El Chapo’s immediate release complete with #FreeElChapo and #ElChapoLivesAnotherDay.

And their comments were close to hilarious – if one could decipher the prose. For instance, Apache Hawk offered the bon mot, “u spend drug money u a drug dealer to,” followed in brotherhood by Afsar Amees Khana with this pithy prose: “Such an idiot trump government if u can’t afford don’t make wall.” And Josh Brown commented with what must be on everyone’s mind: “Chicago junkies are really upset, jeez.”

Pension for Life?

Senators Mike Braun (R-IN) and Rick Scott (R-FL) recently announced their idea of fairness in government with the End Pensions In Congress Act. As Braun said in an interview with Yahoo Finance, “Pensions are kind of an archaic thing. Here in government, I think it’s a great example of where it’s a remnant of the way things used to be. Most people [outside of Congress] don’t get them anymore.”

Mike Braun

The conservatives in Indiana crowed that they “elected Braun” to lead by example and that he was “just what the Swamp needs” in the fight to clean up the nation’s capital. Mary Lyn Luke, who voted for Braun, asked: “Has anyone told AOC about this? She’s gonna lose her S*** over this.  Tough to go back to a barkeep salary and anonymity.”

Braun also introduced a bill that would keep lawmakers from their paychecks if they fail to pass a budget. Of course it’s doomed to fail, but he gets an A for effort from the Hoosiers.

No Russia? Now What?

As Senate Democrats reluctantly admitted that there’s “no evidence that Trump colluded with Russia,” cable news talking heads were so dumbstruck the airwaves were synchronized in silence for a beat or two – either in memoriam for lost hours of non-sourced news and speculation, or for the simple fact that the term “impeachment” would have to be sent to the word-not-used-anymore graveyard.

Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Richard Burr (R-NC) and his Vice Chair Mark Warner (D-VA) led the bi-partisan investigation and concluded, after interviewing more than 200 witnesses from multiple countries and reviewing over 300,000 pages of evidence, that there was no evidence of collusion. Burr told reporters:

“If we write a report based upon the facts that we have, then we don’t have anything that would suggest there was collusion by the Trump campaign and Russia.”

Ron Mechler is visibly irritated: “Hang all the liars and scumbag lawyers who took American tax payers dollars for this bullsh**.” Catherine Chappuis McMahon took a more diplomatic approach, saying, “Hard to spin this into their narrative….so just ignore the facts. They will now be after a new shiny object…Trumps businesses, his family everything and everyone who support Trump.”

And Kevin Bosmans, through his gleeful comment, let a warning fly:

“Wow !! 2202 minutes of Fake News !! Hey Liberals keep watching NBC , ABC, CBS,, CNN, MSNBC , while the rest of us watch FOX , and watch these new Crazy democrats take your Party further down the toilet !!! Lmao.”

So many Americans feel the same way, Kevin.

The mood of America seems to be improving as conservatives are rising up against tyranny and fighting the righteous fight. The Democrats, however, are hurtling headlong down a narrow and dark corridor with crazy freshmen lawmakers at the wheel. If they miss the hairpin turn, well, they won’t be missed.

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