What Passes for Entertainment in America Today? Don’t Ask

Dragging Main Street is not an option in a fossil fuel-free mindset. Let’s face it: gunning a hybrid will lack a certain something. And God only knows behind what corner Monkey Pox is lurking. COVID has probably morphed into the Omega variant. Last year, there were Murder Hornets; who knows what’s next: locusts? Well, the popular online platform, Eventbrite, which publicizes the wonderous options to experience in America – with or without a mask – has a few suggestions for road trippers, international visitors, and folks who are so bored and woke they search the internet for Eventbrite.

On the platform’s “about us” page, you immediately understand the strategy of the Eventbrite creators. Take a read:

“Like you— the unstoppable entrepreneurs and passionate social ringleaders—we thrive at the intersection of culture, community, and commerce. Everything we build empowers creators, founders, and trendsetters to build thriving brands and communities through live experiences.”

Oh, do go on with those buzz words, please, and thank you.

Be Embraced Even If You are Weird

Scrolling through the options, locations, and events prices, the page reminds of other streaming platforms, such as Hulu or Netflix. Eventbrite folks are high on telling viewers what is in their best interest – or should be – a top priority to be cool in today’s world. A standout virtual Zoom event is the much-needed Come Meet A Black Person. Yes, they advise folks “put your white privilege to good use” and join in on the multiple meetings and topics on schedule and is open to all races and cultures and is a safe space. Well, yeah, hard to be in danger when one can just close the Zoom window.

There are tons of events around celebrating the black person. And some of them look downright fun, like Afro beats in multiple locations. That could be considered entertainment – music, food, and a fair-like atmosphere. And South Carolina for a Country Style Cook Off. Also, a really good time, and alcohol is served just on the off chance the music and barbeque are lacking.

Dozens of venues brag about Hippie Fest – but besides tie-dye shirts, the past event’s photographic evidence tells a different story. It’s not Woodstock. It’s more akin to old, arthritic, possible former hippies wearing beads and popping meloxicam mixed with squeaky clean, freshly showered, and not tripping on acid younger folks experiencing their brand of the counterculture. That tells the web page viewer it’s just a neighborhood street festival selling peace sign trinkets.

Here’s a good time with a few rules to follow: #CareFreeBlackGirl Cook Out in Brooklyn. The catchy tagline is FOOD-GAMES-MELANIN. Beige people may not feel that comfortable.

For those still masked up in the privacy of their own home or electric vehicle, how about an online dance party via Zoom? Just personal germs and cooties recycling in lonely safe spaces. And if you dance like a reject from Soul Train, close the platform window when your Zoom-mates start to cackle.

Why has it taken Americans so long to embrace this groovy, safe, woke, in-your-face entertainment?

What Happened?

Ticker-tape parades and celebrations were once the events that showcased American pride and encouraged others to pay it forward. Once upon a time, rural kids, inspired by family, spent countless hours raising animals, training ponies, and competing at the local county fair in agriculture, photography, sewing, and flower arranging. Then, finally, a community came together once a year to reward hard work with blue, red, and yellow ribbons for black, white, Hispanic, and Asian kids. Now every kid gets a blue just for showing up.

What about the symphony? Movie premieres, Oscar parties, charitable events – now we raise money by crowdfunding.

So, we steer into the skid, rev the engine on the smart car, or call an Uber and get our behinds over to the Juneteenth event, the Gay Pride book signing at the local library, and sit-in for online therapy for that ornery inner child. Or do what Americans have always done: whatever they want without hurting one another or being led to a woke party by the nose.