What would Thanksgiving be without the feast? In case you find yourself scrambling for some last-minute recipes day of, here are a few of our favorites, submitted by our faithful writers to upgrade your hum-drum tradition into a politically delicious Thanksgiving meal that’s sure to please the whole family – or offend them, depending on where they fall on the great American divide. Either way, it won’t be boring. America, eat your heart out!
Biden Baked Corn Casserole
Submitted by Dave Patterson
Shamelessly political, the Biden Baked Corn Casserole will delight both family and friends with its bipartisan appeal. The corn will remind you of President Joe’s ole nemesis and “bad dude,” Corn Pop, a gang leader that our buff and burley president fended off “without help from police.” Taking your lead from our manly man president, you can prepare the Biden Baked Corn Casserole (B2C2) without help from the police. It’s simple, too.
- 1 can of cream corn
- 1 can of regular corn, drained
- 1 box of corn muffin mix
- 1 stick of butter
- 1 8-oz container of sour cream
Fold together in a mixing bowl. Progressives should think of this part of the recipe preparation as the best of diversity, equity, and especially inclusion. All ingredients are of equal value mixed together to achieve a better result than that resulting from any one of the ingredients by itself. With a rubber spatula, move the well-integrated B2C2 into a 9″ X 9″ pan (that is “square” for millennials who think this is a Thanksgiving dish known only to their grandparents). Preheat the oven to 350° F and bake approximately 45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and just a bit crusty – like Joe Biden when he gets a question from the press he doesn’t like.
If your dinner guests number more than four, you can double the recipe like Joe Biden has doubled the national debt and the impact of inflation and use a 9″ X 13″ baking pan (For millennials, that’s called a rectangle). Bake for approximately an hour. To know when the casserole is done, stick a toothpick in the center. If it comes out clean, the casserole is done. Sticking a toothpick in Joe Biden does not work when he’s crusty. We have to wait till after the 2024 November election to learn if Joe Biden is done.
Instructions for serving should be followed carefully. If your guests are mostly progressive Democrats, you are probably not reading Liberty Nation. But if you are, consider using the diversity, equity, and inclusion nonsense above. If, in your exquisitely good judgment, you have chosen guests who are clear-thinking conservatives, then serve them your Thanksgiving punch in one of your set of twelve former President Donald Trump mugshot mugs. (See Photo)
Like most Thanksgiving meals, leftovers are the best. So it is with the B2C2. If left overnight at room temperature, it does not age well. For best results with B2C2, refrigerate soon after clearing the table. I recommend placing in a refrigerator in a basement if you have a basement.
Open Border Pecan Pie – New Orleans Style
Submitted by Kelli Ballard
The Democrat’s open border policy has led to an influx of migrants so great that cities are running out of places to put them – and more keep coming by the thousands every day. If that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, try this special pecan pie recipe inspired by Mr. B’s Bistro in New Orleans, Louisiana to cleanse the political pallet and dress up your dessert table.
- 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
- ¼ cup sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 ¾ cup all-purpose flour
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- ¼ teaspoon nutmeg
- 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
- ¾ cup sugar
- ½ cup dark corn syrup
- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
- 3 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- Pinch of salt
1 ½ cups coarsely chopped pecans
Use an electric mixer to beat together butter and sugar for about three minutes in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine cinnamon, flour, baking powder, and nutmeg. Gradually fold into the butter and sugar mixture. The dough should look rough, not smooth. Press the dough into a round, flat shape and then wrap tightly in plastic. Chill for at least 30 minutes, but two hours is preferred.
Once chilled, remove from refrigerator and let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. On a floured surface, roll the dough into a 13-inch round shape and then fit it into a 9-inch pie pan. Trim the overhanging dough to ¾ inch all around.
Preheat oven to 275 degrees.
Whisk together sugar, butter, dark corn syrup, vanilla, eggs, and salt in a large bowl.
Place the pecans in the pie plate and then pour the filling over them. Mix the pecans and filling, but don’t poke the pie crust. Bake for about 1 ½ hours, until the edges are firm, and the center seems set but quivers when the pan is nudged.
Serve warm. For a delicious bonus, add a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
JB’s Sloppy Cow Pie
Submitted by John Klar
Symbolizing the Biden administration’s A-Z (Afghanistan to Zelenskyy) sloppiness, this climate-friendly complete meal is well suited for geriatric gumming. It consists of an eye-catching plop-like meat-substitute cow pie centered in Fettuccini al Fauci, with sides of Klaus Schwab sauerkraut and Hunter’s 7% THC hash cakes.
Ingredients (required by executive order)
- 2 lbs synthetic ground beef (or substitute insect of choice)
- 4 ounces sour cream from cows fed chemicals to inhibit methane production
- ½ teaspoon Chili powder
- 1 medium onion, finely chopped
- (0ptional) 1 tbsp Metamucil © will soothe digestion of Biden’s cow pies.
Saute fabricated beef (or insect substitute), onion, and chili pepper on medium-high heat until browned (without using a gas cooking stove, to reduce carbon emissions). Fold in low-methane sour cream and Metamucil©.
When served at the Biden residence, Joe reportedly ladles out steaming piles of it, however disarranged the Fettucini al Fauci lies. Drizzled with a spicy “Feel the Bern” Béarnaise sauce and garnished lightly, this diverse meal can be equitably followed with Kamala’s Kreepy-Kreamie Karamels for dessert. Caution: POTUS choking hazard!
So Much Thanksgiving!
Need more recipes to round out the meal? Don’t worry; Liberty Nation has you covered! For more of our time-tested favorites, check these out:
With 15 delicious (or, at the very least, entertaining) recipes to choose from, if you’re still hungry, it’s your own fault!