Continuing Liberty Nation’s political recipes with a fun Thanksgiving theme, we present a final few tasty treats to scatter lovingly around your festive table.
By Editor Constance Pollack
Admit it. Some of you will be hosting a political brouhaha at the dinner table on Thursday, only exacerbated by the disinhibiting brews served at the hors-d’oeuvre table. The bad blood between Trumpers and anti-Trumpers seems to have been on high heat since last fall and threatens to boil over at any minute. Just like this oxymoronic recipe: A marriage of sweet and tart, mirroring the Rorschach test of the Trump presidency.
What one taster senses as sugary will strike another as too bitter to swallow… Just like Uncle gloats over the actions of the loudmouth from Queens while Auntie clutches her pearls at his boorish behavior.
This recipe can be made one to three days in advance, to give the flavors time to seep throughout. If you like the tart sharp taste of cranberries that contrasts with the carb overload, as I do, cut back on the sugar. I use only 1 cup per 12-ounce bag. Also, watch the berries as they cook and remove from the heat just as you hear popping sounds. No slimy stuff here; just enjoy the bite of the berry. Each 12-ounce bag yields 2 ½ cups, and each serving is about ¼ cup. You might want to secure the cloves, allspice, and cinnamon in a sachet.
- 1 1/2 cups sugar (less if you like tart)
- 3/4 cup water
- 2 cinnamon sticks
- 3 cloves
- 3 allspice berries
- 1 bag fresh cranberries
- Grated zest of 1 orange
Bring sugar, water, cloves, allspice, and cinnamon sticks to boil in a saucepan. Cook about 3 minutes, stirring, until syrup is clear. Add cranberries and cook until they begin to pop; about 5 minutes. Remove from heat, add grated orange zest, and cool. Refrigerate 1 to 3 days. Remove cloves, allspice, and cinnamon sticks before serving.
Delectable False Narrative Pecan Pie
By Race Relations & Media Affairs Correspondent Jeff Charles
- 2 cups sugar – to help the progressive medicine go down
- 2 cups light corn syrup
- 1 cup butter
- 8 large eggs, beaten, like Hillary Clinton in 2016
- 1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract – but not too much vanilla, you don’t want a privileged pie, right?
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1-1/2 cups pecan halves
- One 9-1/2″ unbaked pie shell, and one half-baked Russia conspiracy theory
Combine the sugar, light corn syrup, and butter together in a medium saucepan. Heat to low, stirring continuously until the butter melts, sugar dissolves, and a Trump tweet causes a media meltdown.
Leave aside to cool. Once cooled, add eggs, vanilla, and salt. Whisk until well blended. Pour the mixture into an unbaked pie shell. Top with pecan halves and bake at 325° for 50-55 minutes.
Once done, remove from oven and cool on a wire rack. Wash down every delicious bite with Jim Acosta’s tears.
The Fake News Watergate Salad
By National Correspondent Sarah Cowgill
Kraft Foods debuted this dessert in the early 1970s as the “Puffy Pineapple Delight,” but a Chicago news editor changed the narrative, to spike readership of her food column, and printed the concoction as “The Watergate Salad.” Imagine a news outlet falsifying facts for their own gain. Gasp.
- 2 cans (14 fl oz) crushed pineapple in juice, undrained – gotta have the fruits
- 2 pkg (4-serving size each) Jell-O Pistachio Instant Pudding – forget the #MeToo movement and Bill Cosby for a day, okay?
- 3 cups thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping – as cold and frosty as Nancy Pelosi’s office
- 2 cups Jet-Puffed Miniature Marshmallows – snowflakes will coo “Totes adorbs!”
- 1 cup chopped pecans – yes, its symbolic for the crazy left
Combine ingredients. Refrigerate 1 hour. Serve after the main course and invite your CNN-watching friends over for dessert and “Russian Collusion” coffee.