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Political Recipes for Your Thanksgiving Table

Thanksgiving recipes with a political twist.

Without the food, there’s no Thanksgiving. Gathering with friends and family, discussing who cooked which dish, spying out your favorite side, the sheer joy of sharing a special meal provides a magic like no other. Our faithful Liberty Nation writers would love to share not only their best wishes with you but also their best Thanksgiving recipes. Enjoy!

Whip the Vote Whipped Potatoes

By Editor-in-Chief Leesa K. Donner

This recipe originated with my mother, Amy Lee Kelly, who argued every Thanksgiving with her brother Gene. His recipe involved placing the potatoes in a ricer and hand-cranking them, while Mom’s version uses a mixer on high-speed. Both “mashed” potato offerings were delectable but very different in consistency. Either way, you have a popular dish for winning votes in most any state beginning with the letter “I.”

We use dairy products from the South Mountain Creamery, which has endured a fair amount of government persecution, but you can choose store-bought dairy products with plenty of USDA-mandated chemicals. Then there’s the pricey organic stuff from Whole Foods, which still has plenty of chemicals added, but it makes people feel better. Ultimately, we believe in liberty and freedom so go for whatever dairy floats your boat.

Ingredients:

  • 1 bag of Yukon Gold potatoes (These hail from Idaho where the Democratic primary will take place on Tuesday, March 10, 2020).
  • 1 stick butter – melted
  • 1/4 C. heavy whipping cream
  • 1/4 C. half-and-half
  • ½-1C. whole milk (must be pasteurized with plenty of government-dictated chemicals added).
  • Lawry’s seasoning
  • Salt
  • White pepper

Preparation:

  • Peel and slice the potatoes. I use the LOHOME electric potato peeler, which takes the drudge work out of it and gives you plenty of free time to read LibertyNation.com.
  • Boil potatoes until very soft (when pierced with a fork it slides off easily).
  • While the potatoes are on the stove, take all the diary, including the butter, and heat it in the microwave for two minutes.
  • When the potatoes are ready, drain and put them back on the stove for about 30 seconds to dry out.
  • Place your potatoes in a mixing bowl. Start slow, increasing the speed to the highest setting on your mixer until the potatoes are mashed.
  • Slow your mixer down and gradually add the warmed dairy until you get a soft consistency.

Add Lawry’s seasoning, salt, and white pepper to taste. Hint: Potatoes need a lot of salt! The white pepper is used for taste and to keep black flakes from ruining the look of your dish.

I Was Creamed in 2016 Corn

By National Columnist Sarah Cowgill

Ingredients:

  • 1-2 bottles of Chardonnay
  • 1-16oz can of Green Giant White Shoepeg Corn – but if you’re one of the damn deplorables, grab a frozen package of sweetcorn you people harvest every year and defrost it.
  • 1 tablespoon of Wondra All-Purpose Quick Mix flour
  • ½ stick of real butter – better start hoarding that kind of stuff for when cows are officially made illegal.
  • ¼ cup heavy whipping cream
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon pepper

Directions:

  • Uncork bottle of chilled Chardonnay and pour in a coffee mug.
  • Drink the wine.
  • Go for a walk in the woods.
  • Come back for more wine.
  • Put corn and butter in a saucepan on low and stir until butter is melted.
  • Stir in flour.
  • Stir in cream and continue to gradually heat.
  • Drink another tumbler of wine and jot down another reason why Donald Trump is the president.
  • Corn will gradually thicken like my ankles. When it’s good and creamy add salt and pepper, then serve – and take the second bottle of wine with you to the table – because “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

Patriot Pie Crust

By Legal Affairs Editor Scott D. Cosenza

The key to any kind of building is a proper foundation. We are building the foundation for liberty’s continuous renewal with GenZ, our young student-focused website. At this stage, the country needs to heal from our divisions and wounds. Let’s start, not with which pie you should serve – such a wedge issue! No, let’s start with the best pie foundation, the all-butter crust. It’s delicious and wholesome, too. This crust will serve you as a proper foundation for all manner of fillings.

Ingredients:

  • 2 sticks unsalted butter
  • 2½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon white sugar
  • Ice water

Notes:

Temperature is the key to this dough’s success – it must be cold. If you have a terribly hot kitchen, warm countertops, and no room in the fridge next to the yams, this will not work. It’s best to put the butter in the freezer for 20 minutes before you start to help ensure success.

Directions:

Put the flour, salt, and sugar into a food processor and pulse to combine. Add the butter, pulsing until you have a rough mix, like the consistency of breadcrumbs. If this has taken you more than just a couple of minutes, wrap the dough in plastic film and let it sit in the fridge to chill for a few minutes. This part is really easy but will make you feel like you did some major baking. Take the dough out and place on a lightly floured surface, add the ice water a tablespoon at a time, working the dough until it comes together. The right amount will vary – I usually wind up using 6-8 spoonfuls.  Remember, you can always add more water, but you can’t take any away.  If the dough is not cold to the touch, don’t work it, let it cool back down.

The results are guaranteed to please them all, from the young snowflakes to the old coots!

Swalwell’s 2019 Green Bean Gasserole

By National Columnist Sarah Cowgill

  • 1 can (10½ ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Cream of Celery Soup – more chance of a gaseous combination than with mushroom soup and it just tastes better.
  • ½ cup whole milk – don’t skimp, you only make this once a year.
  • 1 teaspoon soy sauce
  • Dash of black pepper
  • Dash of salt
  • 4 cups cooked, cut green beans (1½ pounds fresh) – don’t overcook the beans. They should still be a bit crisp when put into the oven.
  • 1 1/3 cups French’s® French Fried Onions

Directions

Stir the soup, milk, soy sauce, black pepper, beans and 2/3 cup onions in a 1½-quart casserole. Call Adam Schiff to see if you are doing it right.

Bake at 350°F for 25 minutes or until the bean mixture is hot and bubbling. Stir. Sprinkle with the remaining onions, then FaceTime Schiff and show him what it’s looking like – make sure you are on script.

Bake for five minutes or until the onions are golden brown. And remember to turn off the mic with MSNBC after a serious helping of Thanksgiving combustion.

~

A very happy Thanksgiving to you all!

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