From the Back Forty: Platner May Be Gone, but the Memories Remain

The heartland has been all over the Democratic Socialists of America since the group took over the political news cycle this midterm season. But there’s one candidate in particular who stood out – not one of theirs, per se, but a controversial Democrat with a connection the DSA would love to forget. Graham Platner finally had to end his US Senate campaign, but his story will remain. Another Democrat who claimed to be a man of many, Governor Tim Walz of Minnesota, is in the hot seat for pardoning a violent illegal criminal who went on to do horrible things to a child. And across the aisle, the party that constantly called for updates and welfare checks on Joe Biden has gone silent on the aging Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, GOP.

Platner: Let the Point and Blame Begin

Anyone in their right mind should have flagged Maine’s most toxic candidate as problematic. Scandal after scandal appeared, including some involving the assault of several women. Then there’s the bad ink –  the infamous tattoo ode to the Führer. Less salacious, perhaps, was the oyster-farmer ruse. He had one or two traps and apparently only one client: his wealthy mom.

Yet more than 70% of Maine Democrats voted for this guy in the primary. But the final scandal hit, and that’s when the party people turned loose a tubful of political piranhas to pick the man clean. The problem? Well, polling numbers were too low.

The pent-up anger and anguish over the Senate race in Maine was finally expelled as news outlets and media personalities vomited out all the things they “really wanted to say” about Platner all along. Ann Coulter stepped out of the shadows long enough to throw a zinger: “The lesson of the Graham Platner episode is that any straight white male in the Democratic Party is some kind of weirdo.”

Brian Bechtel of Knoxville, TN, got a chuckle over this comment: “Ann Coulter may be bat s--- crazy....but she is, and very often, not wrong.”

Beau Wright over in Edgewood, KY, stated: “Technically she isn’t wrong, but the entirety of politics is almost exclusively comprised of weirdos.”

The folks over at CBS puffed out their chests and went all in: "The big question tonight is why did so many in the Democratic Party, the party of Black Lives Matter and believe women, continue to see Graham Platner as a future star?" CBS Evening News host Tony Dokoupil opined. "Despite scandal after scandal that seemed to undermine those principles and more? Despite his old Reddit comments about, among other things, why Platner thinks Black people don't tip? Through all of that and more, Platner downplayed or denied the claims and was defended by the party in some of its biggest voices." Heartlanders were mostly surprised by Platner’s claim about black folks tipping. One Julia Munson in Benton County, IN, said: “Where in the living hell did that ever cross this lunatic’s mind?”

After Platner pulled out, Wayne Wood in Knoxville solemnly wrote: “Well, in the end, he did what was Reich.” Nevadan Luke Rollins added: “I heard he’s writing a book titled Maine Kampf.”

Another White ‘Manly Man’ Democrat

There is a new and increasingly angry uproar over Minnesota Governor Tim Walz. Along with Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison and state Supreme Court Chief Justice Natalie Hudson, Walz worked to pardon and grant safe harbor to Tou Lue Vang of Laos, a man convicted of repeatedly sexually abusing a ten-year-old girl. They all claim it was a “cultural” thing. No, it isn’t. The age of consent in Laos is 15. But even then, this isn’t Laos, and there isn’t anywhere in the US where that’s acceptable.

We’ll see how well that pardon holds up back home – because that’s where he’s headed. Secretary of State Marco Rubio announced the man had been taken and is being deported.

In Oakley, OH, Eric Allen Niehaus wondered aloud: “So, you're telling me you can't open the doors in-flight?”

Heartlanders had some creative ideas on how to deal with this particular Laotian, including the use of livestock and farm implements. In the end, it all came down to Mary Jannell in Henderson, NV, who chose to give credit where due: “Great job ICE!”

It’s the Gander’s Turn

It hasn’t been that long since the GOP called for full disclosure on the health of former President Joe Biden while he was in office. From competency tests to the Hurr transcripts that showed too much for the Democratic Party to hide without help from the media, Republicans wanted to see it all. It’s time to bring that same relentless badgering to another politician: Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY), who no one has heard a peep from in about a month. Come on, GOP, demand the truth – and clean it up if necessary.

Rumors won’t cut it anymore. Is he sitting up and eating Jello or singing with the angels, bless his soul?

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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest-running and most popular weekly column.