Heartlanders were blessed with another week of bizarre antics from the left, including talk of colonizing the moon and a weighty problem with a former top dog at the FBI. What’s more, the Ragin’ Cajun tried to take on Melania Trump, only to find out just how feisty the first lady can be.
Trump vs Carville
First lady Melania Trump may seem quiet and rather reserved, but she is no pushover. When James Carville started gossiping about a rumor that the Daily Beast had printed – claiming Jeffrey Epstein had helped set up Donald and Melania – well, that was enough to activate the spicy side of Mrs. Trump: She sicced lawyers on the southern octogenarian. Carville opened his latest episode of the Politics War Room podcast with a retraction – which had to hurt – and The Beast did something similar. Neither Ghislaine Maxwell nor Jeffrey Epstein had anything to do with a matchmaking scheme for the couple. Melania met Trump at a New York Fashion Week event in 1998 at the Kit Kat Klub. It took six more years for an engagement.
Katy Fox Smith in Robinson, IL, applauded the first lady’s response: “Such a sick thing for Carville to say, knowing that wasn't true. She should sue him.”
Not Another One
Comedienne Kathleen Madigan, a wholesome Midwest gal from Missouri, has a segment in her shows about current affairs and politics. In 2018, she quipped that a Florida bridge club was running our government. Well, it seems she wasn’t far off. After the cognitive decline of Joe Biden rocked the political world (well, mostly the leftists who followed cable news – conservatives were only shocked to see them admit it), a more recent bombshell was discovered in the same vein.
Robert Mueller, the special counsel who investigated Trump over his alleged involvement with Russia, is supposedly residing in a memory care facility, sources told a RealClear Investigations reporter. That should make Americans feel confident in their selection of presidential administrations.
Some folks from the back forty claimed they saw his decline during the Russia, Russia, Russia report hearings. Others believe he’s hiding. Curtis Cole in Harvest, AL, said: “He didn’t remember anything 5 years ago.” But Michigander Jimmy Fisk countered, “If it works... there's liable to be an epidemic of politicians in memory homes.”
DM Dillon in Chicago then brought it back to tougher questions: “Interesting...so he wasn't in charge of any investigation that cost Americans 100 million? So, who was? Yeah, we know.” But she didn’t name names.
No Nip Nips Please
Rural folks just found out that this is a thing for the angst-ridden left-of-center lunatics: Full-grown adults sucking on a pacifier to self-soothe. This phenomenon first gained significant traction in China, where these ridiculous tools are widely available on e-commerce platforms such as Taobao and JD.com. You too can purchase a binky for you and your friends and family for just ten yuan, and now it’s in the US.
Of course, your dentist might voice concerns and warn you that an adult-sized mouth is not designed for such a device. Dependency on this infantile apparatus will alter bite alignment and create temporomandibular joint damage. Dr. Tang Caomin worries that these yahoos will fall asleep sucking on the pacifier and suffocate. Seriously.
Kris Howard, hailing from Pahrump, NV, connected a few dots: “From what I understand, this is Generation Z ... the same kids who bring a parent to a job interview with them.”
Hoosier gal Rose Collins had her own coping skills: “ When I’m stressed, I usually read, write, draw, play video games, or I just drink a little bit of whiskey to take the edge off. Seems more productive than sucking on a pacifier like a damn baby.”
Another dot connector, Lu Ann Richardson of Edwardsburg, MI, commented: “Are these the same people who wore the ‘diaper’ pins when Hillary lost in 2016 so they knew who they could talk to?”
And Jacob Weems in Oakdale, TN, had a story to tell as well: “This has actually been a thing for a while – adults using diapers, eating baby food and formula, getting burped the whole nine yards.” Good Lord.
Dark Side of the Moon
On CBS Mornings Plus, scientist and media personality Neil deGrasse Tyson talked to host Vladimir Duthiers about the possibility of a lunar nuclear reactor. Duthiers, out of his depth, decided to play a race card: “We know how the age of colonialism worked on this planet,” the host said. “Should we be trying to colonize and saying that there’s a keep-out zone that no other countries can participate in having?” Co-host Adriana Diaz was all over the far left talking point, asking: “Is it inevitable that we’re going to have to go to the moon and try to colonize the moon?”
Tyson, frankly but rather kindly (the “bless your heart” was heavily implied), reminded Duthiers that the moon does not have any inhabitants for America to oppress.
In Stillwater, MN, Doug Wilson said, “To the moon, Alice.”
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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest-running and most popular weekly column.
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