Statists Launch the War on Convenience

A new epidemic in Toronto could transform North America’s fourth-largest city into a wasteland. This clear and present danger, this gripping emergency, and this insipid scourge on everything that is holy and good might change the fabric of not only the city but also the rest of the world. So, what is this infestation that’s a plague on society? Lousy millennials carrying around coffee cups. This menacing trend requires the attention of our all-knowing and all-powerful public policymakers who know how to tackle such urgent matters with the only tactic they know how: spending your tax dollars.

Depressed by Coffee Cups

Toronto City Councillor Mike Colle, who has become the poster child for term limits after serving a quarter-century in public office, recently appeared at the Infrastructure and Environment Committee to air his grievances about people wandering the streets with coffee cups. Handwringing to the sky and referring to this common sight as an “epidemic,” the Toronto official wants to break people out of the habit of using takeout cups.

Instead, Colle thinks it would be a corking idea to encourage consumers to adopt the Italian model. This consists of patrons buying their java fix at the café, drinking it inside the establishment, and then walking away hands-free.

“Councillor Anthony Perruzza knows what I’m talking about,” he said to the committee.

So, what does he want exactly? Colle requested that the city fund a campaign to raise awareness about this supposed addiction: “Can we do maybe an educational program for millennials basically who walk up and down our streets littering with these coffee cups?”

The most egregious moment came when he was successful in inveigling bureaucrats. These civil servants chose to enable Colle’s “old man yelling at the clouds” behavior, informing him that the city can highlight the option of enjoying coffee in “a reusable China cup.”

City hall was flabbergasted when Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his Progressive Conservatives cut the number of councillors from 47 to 25. If you think the issue of coffee cups being on the schedule is a waste of time, then imagine all sorts of asinine subjects municipal officials were exploring when there were more of them. From proposing to outlaw distracted walking to whining about not being able to watch the Toronto Blue Jays in the postseason during a council session, these councillors serve as evidence for not just limited government but also the elimination of the state altogether!

War on Convenience

Politicians do not want your life to be easier; convenience is not allowed. Their proposals are typically laughable, ludicrous, and loopy to anyone with an ounce of common sense, but these schemes are taken seriously by the establishment. Colle’s request was a perfect example of something superfluous that should have been tossed into the waste bin but instead was considered in earnest.

Do you believe this nonsense is relegated to just The Six, and American politicians are superior? You would be mistaken. Across the United States, there is always a politician who wants to tax and regulate every aspect of your life.

In California, it was the last straw for plastic straws. Officials thought they needed to initiate straw wars, going as far as fining waiters who handed them out to patrons unsolicited. How dare waiters be courteous to customers and how dare diners want to drink their soda pop out of a straw.

In New York City, the sight of plastic bags was too much to bear. Mayor Bill de Blasio and his henchmen decided to impose a five-cent penalty for anyone who wanted to carry their produce in this threat to humanity. But then consumers also were dinged for buying paper bags. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. They would be happy only if everyone carried all their groceries in their hands.

In San Francisco, water bottles needed to be prohibited. The environmental lobby considered these instruments of destruction as the new enemy of mankind; our future is at risk.

In New Jersey, Mother Nature could not flee from taxation. The Garden State ostensibly believed that the planet should not allow water to fall from the sky for free. The cash-strapped jurisdiction had to get its share somehow, even if it meant going to war with the earth.

Unfortunately, North America is not the only home to incogitant policymakers who believe every nostrum they champion will cure cancer, discover advanced civilizations, and finally put an end to grotesque skinny jeans and obnoxious man buns. Europe is engaged in social engineering, Asia has imposed systems to control the population, and Africa remains entrenched in death and destitution.

The World Is Not Enough

We can complain about and mock our esteemed representatives for their absurdities, but it is the voters who put these men and women in charge of writing laws, managing the public purse, and ensuring they can prevent us from making our own decisions. There are many proposals to limit how long politicians can serve. While they are a step in the right direction, these remedies can go only so far. It is important to elect officials who understand the role of government and not use their positions of privilege to control their constituents from cradle to grave. To these men and women, the world is not enough. Indeed, if you scratch any politician, you will find a statist.

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