Seattle’s Progressive Policies Result In Drug-Addicted Sea Life

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A recently published report reveals a disturbing reality about Seattle. The city’s drug problem has become so severe that even its sea life is becoming hooked on opioids. That’s right. Even animals are getting high in the Emerald City.

NBC News reports that traces of opioids have been found in mussels in the Puget Sound. “Scientists from the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife found traces of the painkiller oxycodone and other pharmaceuticals in the tissues of native bay mussels in Puget Sound near Seattle,” they wrote.

This recent revelation has shocked Seattle’s politicians, whose progressive policies were expected to turn the city into a divine utopia completely devoid of homelessness, drug addiction, and conservatives.

Sea – Life Community Impacted By Opioid Addiction

While it is known that Seattle’s policies – which involve setting up safe spaces for people to do drugs -have inadvertently caused a spike in homelessness and drug addiction; nobody considered the impact on sea life. However, Liberty Nation, your premier purveyor of the truth, is on the case. We traveled to Seattle to discuss the issue with members of the Puget Sound’s sea-animal community. They had much to say.

Sebastian the crab, no relation to the guy in that mermaid movie, stated that he became hooked on painkillers after losing his job due to Seattle’s ridiculously high corporate tax rate. “Things were going great for me when I was working,” he said. “But when the city’s government imposed a higher minimum wage, along with additional taxes on business, my employer had to lay me off.”

Sebastian’s plight is not unique. Indeed, The Seattle Times reported in June 2017 that 5,000 jobs would have existed if it were not for the increased minimum wage. “I lost my job, my wife, and thousands of kids because I couldn’t provide,” the crab stated. Unfortunately, crabs are not the only species affected by Seattle’s policies.

Through the course of our investigation, we met a rockfish named Rocky who lives in one of Puget Sound’s underwater tent cities. “I got hooked on heroin five years ago,” he said. “The city isn’t doing anything for us. But at least they set up areas where I can shoot heroin without fear of being arrested, so I don’t have to worry about overdosing.”

When asked whether the city was providing mental health services or drug rehabilitation, he said, “man, I don’t know. I think they’re trying to provide rehab, but it ain’t enough. We gotta wait like, months before we can get a bed!”

There you have it. Homelessness and drug abuse aren’t just affecting Seattle’s human population. Fortunately, the city has policies in the works that are sure to ease the suffering amongst humans and animals alike.

The city recently implemented a head tax on businesses who earn more than $20 million annually. According to Liberty Nation’s Andrew Moran, this tax would impact about 600 companies. The proposal will levy a 26 cent tax on every hour worked by every employee working at Seattle’s largest companies. The tax is expected to raise about $75 million per year, which is supposed to be used to provide housing for the homeless.

This new tax, along with the city’s stellar progressive tax policies and a $15 minimum wage is intended to promote growth, prosperity, and more jobs for Seattle’s residents. What could possibly go wrong? Sure, Amazon and other companies have threatened to leave the city because of the head tax and other policies that harm their business. Yes, the online retailer halted construction on a new facility in the city. Moreover, they have stated that the new tax would mean 7,000 fewer jobs.

But what do they know?

Progressive policies make people feel all warm and tingly inside. Like that feeling, you get when you drop a quarter into a homeless person’s cup. In the end, feeling good is all that matters, isn’t it?