President Donald Trump’s connections to Russia could eventually lead to his removal from office, according to the latest Washington Whispers. After a year-long FBI investigation, in addition to separate probes by the House and Senate intelligence committees, certain unavoidable conclusions are beginning to form, say anonymous current and former high-level federal employees. The apparent lack of cooperation between the Trump election campaign team and Russian officials is set to become a constitutional crisis.
A Criminal Breach of Protocol
Members of Congress have joined Special Counsel Robert Mueller in calling for Trump administration officials to fully explain what has been described by some as “a criminal breach of protocol.” The full extent of the Obama administration’s cooperation with the Russian government is gaining increasing attention. Presidential loser Hillary Clinton is also well-known for her close ties to the Kremlin. In stark contrast, multiple investigative agencies – including the Kalawao County Sheriff’s Office in Hawaii and Mothers Against Drunk Driving – have failed to uncover any confirmed links between Trump and Russia.
“This is unheard of in Washington,” said California Democrat Adam Schiff, who is the ranking member of the House intelligence committee. “We have all done our part to maintain a relationship with the Russians. It’s very disturbing that we’ve seen no evidence of President Trump’s willingness to do the same.” Almost in tears, Schiff went on to describe the Clintons’ selfless efforts to sell uranium to a Russian company and cited the hard work of almost everyone in D.C. who made the deal a reality.
Community Effort
As described by Schiff, the deal to sell 20% of America’s uranium reserves to a company with ties to the Russian government was a community effort. Those with a role in making the transaction happen included Bill and Hillary Clinton, former President Barack Obama, former Attorney General Eric Holder, and several current and former senior FBI officials. This latter group included James Comey, Robert Mueller, Andrew McCabe and Rod Rosenstein.
Not the Kremlin
Additionally, Loretta Lynch, another former Obama Attorney General, played a major role in ensuring that an FBI whistleblower was unable to sabotage the agreement. Lynch, who sounds like a country music star but isn’t, was aided in this endeavor by a number of Republicans in Congress.
Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders also fell under a cloud of suspicion for having no known recent dealings with the Russians. He was cleared of any wrongdoing after he reminded the Senate intelligence committee that he had honeymooned in Moscow and that he was, after all, a dyed-in-the-wool socialist-commie.
Robert Mueller’s role in the investigation into lack of collusion with the Russians was further vindicated as it was revealed that he had personally invested tens of millions of dollars in hedge funds connected to Russian energy companies. Rep. Schiff himself proudly touted his own Russian-linked investments.
Senator John McCain (R – Ass) also chimed in. “We must get to the bottom of this,” he said, “because the American people deserve to know why it is that the president appears to be the only person in Washington with no ties to Russia.” Before hurrying – or “Russian,” as they say on Capitol Hill – to another committee meeting, McCain added, “I’m a war hero, you know.”
Campaign Cover-up
Former Trump election campaign operatives, speaking on condition of anonymity, have revealed that the lack of ties to Russia had become a major concern, during the presidential race. Desperate to fabricate the appearance of collusion, Donald Trump Jr. even arranged a meeting with Russian officials. The effort was in vain, however, because no firm evidence of actual collusion emerged from this brief encounter. Asked for comment on his impending indictment, the president’s son shouted “I’m reading War and Peace. I started reading it months ago. Have you any idea how long that book is?”
Despite giving both his wife and eldest daughter Russian-sounding names, the president is likely to face impeachment and criminal indictment within a matter of decades.
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