Ivan Nikolayev, Dmitry Tereschenko, Sergei Khabarov, and their comrades have once again tried to bring the Western devil to its knees through the power of the hashtag. If it wasn’t bad enough that Mother Russia infiltrated Pokémon Go and designed over-the-top cartoons of Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) on Windows XP’s Microsoft Paint in 2016, Russian bots are now trying to ruin our Twitter experience by manipulating trending hashtags, according to the tinfoil hat-wearing journalists in the establishment press. Those Russians will stop at nothing to … do what, exactly?
Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire financier and convicted sex offender, was recently discovered wounded in his New York jail cell. He was reportedly found semi-conscious with marks on his neck. This was believed to be either a suicide attempt or an attack by another inmate. When this development made headlines, the hashtag “#ClintonBodyCount” started to trend on Twitter.
Epstein ostensibly visited the White House several times during the 1990s. It is unknown what type of relationship Epstein had with former President Bill Clinton, who is known to have traveled multiple times on Epstein’s plane. Of course, since this is the internet and the Clintons are one of the most despised families in the United States, there are plenty of conspiracy theories afloat. Critics have alluded to a 30-year-old hypothesis that points out the numerous deaths of individuals with some sort of six degrees of separation to the Clintons. So, when you consider the number of dead bodies over the years, a potential suicide by a prominent individual who had an association with Clintons, and the snarkiness of social media, it would make sense that #ClintonBodyCount would rise to the top of the social network.
But don’t tell that to leftist Grant Stern, who tweeted: “Russia didn’t wait long to prove Mueller 100% correct about Putin interfering in our politics today with the #ClintonBodyCount trending hashtag.” Or, don’t try to dissuade progressive writer David Leavitt, who posited: “#ClintonBodyCount and #MuellerHearingDisaster are trending right now. The Russian bots are out in full force. They would be a great day for @realDonaldTrump to resign.”
If Twitter were around in the 1950s, it is safe to say that Senator Joseph McCarthy would have spent his entire time on the social media platform making wild accusations against Moscow for everything. Gloria Swanson not winning an Oscar for her role in Sunset Boulevard? Blame Joseph Stalin. An all-New York 1952 World Series? Moscow’s fault. Rita Hayworth marrying the deadbeat Dick Haymes? Blame Vladimir Putin somehow.
Russia Will Crush You
The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming is the title of a 1966 motion picture, but it really should be the new tagline for CNN and MSNBC. This has been pretty much the theme of nightly newscasts, daytime segments, and overall reportage for more than two years. To these cable news networks, everything is some nefarious Russian plot to take over the world.
Russia is too busy fending off NATO encroachment at its border and combating a lingering economic slump to allocate its resources and cyber efforts to reignite a conspiracy theory that dates back to the 1990s. Even if Moscow were the chief culprit in creating this hashtag, only the talking heads in the mainstream media could believe that it would have any effect on the public’s already sour opinion of the woman who will never be president.
The Clintons shouldn’t lose sleep over the bad press, though. Google and its Silicon Valley partners do a good job tailoring search results to favor Bill and Hillary. So, while #ClintonBodyCount might be trending today, it will be shipped down the memory hole in a few days and will soon be long forgotten. Indeed, everyone on the left can always count on Big Tech for assistance, except for Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI), who is suing the search engine juggernaut for “election meddling” by blocking her campaign ads.
Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) recently uncovered another massive Russian plot to sow division in America. The presidential candidate revealed on a radio program Russian bots were the ones that upset half the country over failed quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s decision to kneel during the national anthem. Moscow ostensibly was successful in controlling the thoughts and emotions of millions of Americans by crafting tweets and manipulating Twitter trends. Those diabolical bots!
Soon, the Democrats will unveil that it was Putin and his henchmen who did something to the eyes of Rosemary’s Baby – you maniacs!
Was CNN’s Paul Begala right all along? Does President Donald Trump need to initiate a bombing campaign on Moscow? Indeed, if America’s modern-day national pastimes – tweeting, football, and bashing the Clintons – are susceptible to Russian interference, then is there nothing sacred anymore? The next time something bad happens in your life – a job loss, a car accident, or your significant other cheating on you – then you might find out that it was @ivan011345981 all along.
Where the heck is Sylvester Stallone when you need him?