This week in flyover country started with “I told you so” repeated in every bar, truck stop, café, and diner as Robert Mueller’s investigation concluded. The highly anticipated report, dropped on Friday March 22 at five o’clock, was a clear indication that there would be no new news on further indictments and crimes against nature committed by President Trump, his family, and associates.
By 5:01 pm, memes flew across Twitter and Facebook as both Democrats and Republicans heralded, “It’s Mueller Time!”
By Sunday, the only revelers were Trump supporters, as the dreams of the left were quashed by the man they hoped would be their knight in shining armor. Mueller must be off polishing his steel and soaking his chain mail; no one has seen the special counsel in public since the offering to the Department of Justice.
The Democrats in the Swamp began distancing themselves from Mueller and – between bitter, racking sobs of disappointment – vowed to find some collusion, somewhere, even if it wasn’t a criminal act.
House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis Nadler (D-NY) spoke to reporters. “Well, there have been obstructions of justice, whether they are – clearly, whether they are criminal obstruction is another question.”
What does that even mean?
We let Donnie Dearen, a Farmington, New Mexico native, loose on reminding the left of their previous promises in all caps, “IN 2017 DEMOCRATS SAID TO REPUBS YOU MUST ACCEPT MUELLERS FINDINGS, IN 2019 DEMOCRATS SAY WE DONT ACCEPT MUELLERS FINDINGS.”
Sounds like a regurgitation of the 2016 presidential election. A healing of the American political divide is not coming to a theater near you any time soon.
Just Go Away Already
In other flyover news, Jussie Smollett was back on the chopping block after all charges against him were unceremoniously dropped by Cook County prosecutors. They didn’t bother telling Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who called the decision a “whitewash of justice,” or Chicago Police Department Superintendent Eddie Johnson, who stated unequivocally: “At the end of the day it was Smollett who committed this hoax.” They were not happy. Chicago Police Department spokesman Anthony Guglielmi told The Chicago Tribune, “Everyone knows how the department feels.” I would not want to be Smollett and live in the Windy City right now.
Prosecutors, rumored to be in cahoots with former First Lady Obama, claimed Smollett was a good guy who performed all kinds of community service and should be freed from 16 felony counts of falsely reporting a hate crime. Facebook reacted with calls for payback.
David Kolb led off with selective justice for “Michelle Obama’s new LOVE CHILD.” Ruth Strawder, who does not use spell check, replied, “You racical ,mabe it your love child.” But John Linner Sr. went there with, “Better call Saul.”
You just can’t make this stuff up.
What is crystal clear is that Jussie is one gay, black, whiny actor that no one seems to like anymore. It appears the scandal will get worse before it gets better, as Mayor Emanuel is demanding the actor pay for the cost of the investigation. Smollett’s attorneys are threatening to sue the city for treating their client like the criminal the cops proved he was. Oh, and they are hinting that Smollett’s attackers wore whiteface. And those comments aren’t fit to print.
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