This week, announcements came about a significant stash uncovered by Deputy FBI Director Dan Bongino. Flyover folks were more irritated than impressed and gave a collective eye roll. The political party that cannot define the word “woman” has $20 million and is out looking to grab a couple of manly men to debrief on what can be achieved in the upcoming midterms. Then, in a demonstration of how not to read the room, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has again changed her mind and is calling for the abolition of ICE. Finally, beware of Harvard professors making sense – something is not quite right.
FBI: “We Found Stuff” Ain’t Gonna Cut It
The heartland is increasingly irritated by the lack of decisive action against potential criminal activity that is either overlooked or protected within the US government, where many issues are swept under the rug. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Deputy Director Dan Bongino hinted on Thursday’s Fox & Friends that he had found a stash of old Comey – for lack of a more appropriate term – evidence. Lawrence Jones leaned in for the reveal once Bongino stated, “And there was a room, and we found stuff. A lot of stuff.”
“A hidden room?”
“I wouldn’t call it hidden – but hidden from us, at least, and not mentioned to us,” Bongino replied. “Then we found stuff in there, and a lot of it’s from the Comey era. We’re working our damnedest right now to declassify it.” Stuff. The old “Whoop-dee-doo” cry was sent out across the prairie.
“And just so you know – I get the public. I totally understand people saying, ‘Well, do it now.’ The process is not all the information is ours to declassify – some is other intelligence agencies. We literally can’t do it,” he continued. That’s it, right there. That is why folks From the Back Forty are becoming less friendly toward Trump’s top cops. Linda Langford, in Royse City, TX, is weary of the hype: “Just words. So very tired of nothing but words. A do-nothing Congress and a do-nothing Attorney General and FBI. Seems Marco Rubio is outshining them all.”
Langford was parroted by most on the social media platform, with only a few begrudgingly asking for patience. With irritation, invoking one of the best crime-fighting duos on prime time, Larae Jinx of Omaha said, “Just Book’em, Danno. Geez.”
Men, Men, Men, Manly Men, Men, Men
It’s hard to attract the votes of authentic manly men when one’s political party is gender-fluid. The Democratic Party found this out the hard way while catering to drag queen story hour, men in women’s sports, and tampons in boys’ bathrooms. Another misfire was when Kamala Harris tapped Tim Walz as her running mate, thinking he could demonstrate just how “male” one governor could get and relate to toxic masculinity. But now the oldest political party has a plan.
“Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan.” Just call it SAM. Those strategic folks are doing it up right, too, spending a whopping $20 million to get the job done and supposedly enlisting influencer Olivia Julianna. Steve Henry in Texas quipped: “They spent all their money on Beyoncé and Oprah. This is all they can afford now.”
Breitbart Editor-in-Chief Alex Marlow was less than kind to Ms. Julianna on his eponymous show and sort of fat-shamed - which isn't cool. Regardless, the point was made. “It is noteworthy that this is what the Democrats have decided to do … this is not the way, having someone who is 500 pounds tell you that I love frat guys is not the formula to court young men,” Marlow quipped.
Iowa-nice came out to referee: John Parkhurst, in Cedar Rapids, remarked: “Hope she isn't easily offended? Folks can be unkind. I might not agree with her politics, but body shaming isn't cool. Still am fairly certain it is going to happen.”
Tim Ferree, also a little caustic: “How long before we discover she's a cannibal, and ‘loves frat guys’ carries a whole different meaning?” Well, she does love Joe Biden, and maybe we just had another Uncle Bosey reference. But Judyille, Indiana’s own Rando Stine, brought it home with: “It’s like they don’t even wanna try.”
Snatching Defeat Out of the Jaws of Victory
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), a potential Democratic presidential primary candidate, is in full-blown waffle mode: After stepping back on ICE abolition rhetoric, the popular progressive is calling for “right of passage” for all illegal aliens and – you guessed it – the end of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).
Americans have tuned out this sort of bombastic ideology – they voted for border security. For a young legislator to miss the reading of the room makes one go, “Hmmm.” Perhaps it’s all about the first step in unseating the Democratic Party dinosaur, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) – which may be politically viable for AOC. Could it be she’s just trying on different types of campaign shoes? “I believe that ICE, an agency that was just formed in 2003 during the Patriot Act era, is a rogue agency that should not exist,” AOC said in a fundraising email.
In Scottsburg, IN, Jeremy Pike observed: “If I wanted to hear political advice from a bartender, I'd go to the bar.”
Dan Milenko, in Wheaton, IL, chuckled at the former bartender: “Just when they felt they weren't losing enough, she serves up another one.” And in Eulas, TX, #MABA was created by Michael Conners: “Make AOC Bartend Again!”
Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts
The Heartland found this bit of news ridiculous: Harvard Professor of Bioengineering and Applied Physics Kit Parker said it’s time to iron out the differences, saying the Trump administration’s request for a list of foreign students is “perfectly reasonable, it’s fair, and I think it’s prudent.”
Parker doubled down: “I think it’s a reasonable request on the part of the President. I think it’s a reasonable request on the part of the State Department to follow up on these students.” Mark Carter, in GA, said the quiet part out loud: “Has anyone seen that professor lately?”
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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest-running and most popular weekly column.
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