Flyover Folk Tell the Government Where It Can Stick Its Needles

Editor's Note: While the media and other leftist elites ignore the millions of folks living in "flyover" states, they do so at their own peril; it was this silent majority that put President Trump in the White House. Each week, Liberty Nation gives voice to the hard-working heartlanders who are silent no more.

As America waits for 538 Electoral College members to meet on December 14, heartlanders held heated discussions on the fringe and more curious elements of Election 2020. On the tips of tongues is the absence of top spook CIA Director Gina Haspel and how the government will be tracking people who receive the COVID-19 vaccine.

Ghosting Of America's Top Spook

Gina Haspel is cloistered somewhere in the big bad world, and no one seems to have seen her in weeks. That being said, who knows if she's lounging on the beach, pina colada in hand, trying to forget the weirdest year on record for an entire planet, or holed up in a CIA black site. Yes, the chatter varies that much. But the inconvenient fact of missing the latest intelligence briefing has tongues wagging and folks wondering, where is Miss Gina?

A cursory glance on Facebook has uncovered no less than five separate page accounts, and none of them seem legitimate, with poor spelling and grammar. Perhaps the Russians or Chinese were attempting to mind-bend America's perceptions. The better of multiple-choice selections had this message – supposedly from Haspel: "Hard to be severely injured in a raid that never happened." This statement apparently refers to a rumored – in conspiracy circles – raid in Europe of servers involved in the 2020 election. Kooky and spooky all at the same time.

Being the arbiter of all things factual, why hasn't Facebook deleted the faux CIA director's numerous sites? Spies are not warm and fuzzy people sharing photos, recipes, and secret missions on social media. Isn't this a ripe opportunity for the social media juggernaut to dish out some fact-checking labels?

Haspel's spokesperson, Nicole De Haay, released this statement: "Well…this is the most absurd inquiry I've ever addressed, but I'm happy to tell you that Director Haspel is alive and well and at the office." But until there is a sighting, people are going to continue to speculate about the fate of Gina.

Red Staters Say No Thanks To Vaccine Cards

The Immunization Action Coalition (IAC) promotes the use of vaccine cards to track the use of COVID-19 vaccines soon to be on the market. Dr. Kelly Moore, the associate director of IAC, assures us that her plan is the simplest way to keep track of who is obediently doing what the government tells them to do. She's thrilled at the idea:

"Everyone will be issued a written card that they can put in their wallet that will tell them what they had and when their next dose is due. Let's do the simple, easy thing first. Everyone's going to get that."

Well, not so fast, Dr. Moore. A whole lotta flyover folks are taking Nancy Reagan's advice and just saying "no." So, everyone will not be cooperative.

There are plenty of people feeling a tad twitchy about health papers issued by the government to allow Americans to move around their own country, whether by train, plane, or automobile. West Virginian Zach Cooper weighed in on the "simplest" plan saying: "Cool, how about pinning a star on me and giving me a tattoo of my vaccination number?"

In Lansing, MI, Bob Ollila's comment was echoed multiple times: "Shove it up your a--."

So, what's the holdup for gung-ho folks living in fear? Both Pfizer and Moderna, the two companies on the threshold of what they deem a viable vaccine, are awaiting emergency use authorization from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. The FDA is expected to authorize the drug's use in the next two weeks.

In helping folks like Bob Ollilo overcome the fear of the vax – or more likely government tracking – these former presidents, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton, are volunteering to receive their super-special inoculation, on camera, of course, to promote public confidence. Putting aside hopes that the three amigos will develop chills and fevers, flyover folks would be more confident about petting an angry Copperhead on the side of the road.

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