Be afraid. Be very afraid. The American people are fully entrenched in the scary season known as the Democratic Primary. More than a dozen zombies are mixing a witch’s brew, using the ingredients of taxation, spending, and debt to poison the souls of 327 million and turn them into walking corpses for the state, unable to think independently or speak out against the ghouls in the Swamp. As you are haunted by the prospects of a Democratic presidency for four years, it may be time to sink your fangs into the platforms proposed by some of the Grim Reapers. Save your bloodcurdling scream for the end.
Elizabeth Warren – A Labyrinth of Lies
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) is trapped in her labyrinth of lies, unable to escape her maze of mendacity. Every corner she turns, the senator is crippled by the specters of her past that have emerged from the underworld, venturing to paralyze her presidential aspirations. Billionaire backing, Native ancestry, employment termination over pregnancy – what might have seemed like inconsequential fibs have snowballed into a concoction of double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
To atone for her past deeds, Sen. Warren is carving out a catacomb of empty promises and platitudes constructed with the foundation of Mephistophelean economic fallacies purported by the disturbed minds living in the bubbles of academia: wealth confiscation, government intervention, and free stuff. Only then, the senator thinks, she can escape from the coil’s terrors that are preventing her from slaying her Democratic archnemesis: Former Vice President Joe Biden.
Bernie Sanders – Macabre
In 2016, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) inspired an entire generation to unleash its hate, resentment, and envy and conceal these emotions under the guise of virtue. The Sanders crusade of moral indignation, one that has extended into this election cycle, is nothing more than a macabre campaign that showcases the very worst in man. Sacrificing their souls to the socialist demons, the senator’s disciples awaken the philosophy of bitterness, disdain, and antipathy from its sound slumber inside the Soviet mausoleum.
With enough faith in the ideology to cure what ails society, Sanders and his socialist policies transform the voluntary market economy into a cauldron that stews in dependency and enslavement. As time passes, bodies decompose with every good or service consumed at zero cost. Everything loses its value, and everything metastasizes into nothing. Yesterday’s prosperity is covered in cobwebs.
When there is no more room in the Soviet Union, the socialists shall walk the earth.
Joe Biden – The Pale Man
The pale man, nobody wants to hear. The pale man, they still like to cheer. The pale man, voters don’t desire to look at. The pale man, the establishment supports a Democrat. The pale man, unable to think or speak. The pale man, the left ignores the doublespeak. The pale man, devoid of sound economic ideas and principles. The pale man, defer to the decrepit pseudointellectuals.
The pale man, his little tray ever remains empty; strange old man, shall we go with you in 2020 and jail pharmaceutical executives and double the capital gains tax?
Kamala Harris – Arrogance
H.L. Mencken wrote, “He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.”
There was once a goddess who presided over an entire empire of servants. This goddess demanded everything to be grand and opulent. Her residence, her government, her meals, her policies, and her promises. Upon her death, it was required that her constituents build a coffin and a tomb that suited a goddess, forever unmatched. When historians uncovered this kingdom, they found nothing inside. Her palace, her government, and her coffin were empty as if nothing ever existed inside.
One archaeologist did come across a vestige of this goddess’ kingdom: an IOU slip.
Andrew Yang – Paralyzed
Man has achieved the modern-day American Dream: Being given money for the simple act of breathing. As a result, life has devolved into a pit of obscurity, of nothingness. Listen to them – children of the night. What music they don’t make!
Thanks to a monthly payment for living that is still being paid out in the year 2079, millions of people are paralyzed in their chairs, being hypnotized by cable news networks for the remainder of their days. The economy has come to a standstill, failing to generate any wealth to pay for this universal basic income. Because they have lost the ability to think or even move, beneficiaries do not protest, only regurgitate what the talking heads on the Counterfeit News Network say, which is mostly about the former President Donald Trump all day and night. It no longer matters: Their bodies are decaying – like the economy.
Trick or Treat
When witches fly on their broomsticks and black cats fill the streets, the moon laughs and whispers, “’tis near Election Day.” In a little more than a year, millions of voters will rise from their caskets to cast a ballot for their Grim Reaper of choice to advance the financial crisis or delay it a little longer. Will the Democratic nominee cast a spell on voters and inflict their minds with Trump Derangement Syndrome to pass a far-left agenda? Or, will President Trump pull off the greatest magic trick in the history of the country by winning another election despite a daily bombardment of the left-neoconservative-media alliance’s gruesome acts?