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Debate Lamentations and Yellowstone

The most entertaining part of the debates so far has been the technical issues.

A close friend texted me just as we were reaching inside the microwave for our politically correct popcorn.  “Yellowstone – Episode 2 is on tonight. I’m so excited,” she tapped out. However, we felt it our civic duty to watch the Democratic Debate on NBC. In retrospect: What a terrible idea. Yellowstone would have been so much more entertaining than sitting through the best that Dems have to offer for president. If these first debates are any indication, it will be Mr. Trump by a landslide in 2020.

You heard it here first, folks – TRUMP BY A LANDSLIDE.

Just a quick digression into Yellowstone: It’s a television series found on the Paramount Network and executive produced by Kevin Costner. Bawdy and raw as things out west sometimes are, Yellowstone focuses on a family that feels like a cross between that of Cliven Bundy and J.R. Ewing. The Dutton family includes strong women, shit-kicking men, and cowboys with real – well, you know.

In short, nothing like the Democratic candidates.

The debates did offer up some angry women (Warren, in particular), weak and confused men (most notably Booker and Beto), and a whole lot of politically correct human popcorn kernels – with a ton of that fake movie butter but without salt – slippery and tasteless.

However, it’s only proper to give a little shout out to Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI), who demonstrated some moxie by taking on Tim Ryan (D-OH) over the issue of American troops in Afghanistan. Rep. Ryan didn’t seem to know the difference between Al Qaeda and the Taliban, and the U.S. Army Major took the opportunity to nail him:

Hola, Me Llamo Beto

Though boring and filled with more platitudes than you can find in Merriam-Webster, things seemed to be sailing along on NBC until former TX Congressman Beto O’Rourke broke into a slow “Spanglish” that was meant to impress. The most amusing part of Beto’s remark was the shot of Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) in the background – eyes wide with shock. Was it that Beto’s Spanish was so poor, or was it that he stole Booker’s thunder? In all, Booker, Castro, and Beto broke into Spanish eight times throughout the evening — without warning. Halting and bizarre, it likely has folks over at Telemundo doubled-over in laughter at the candidates’ poor, pandering attempts to sound Latin-friendly.

Speaking of embarrassing, crawl-under-the-pew moments – What’s the deal with NBC? Can they not afford a decent audio man to run the board? The TV host affectionately known at Liberty Nation as F. Chuck Todd repeated his question twice with odd background sounds.  Moderators claimed it was their colleagues who just exited stage right. But it seemed to those listening that it could have been the control room. “Ready to take camera two? Zoom in to Todd’s bald spot.” Either way, Mr. Todd – all five foot two of him — snarled that they needed to go to a commercial break. Stand by folks; it’s amateur hour on NBC.

Round two happens tonight, and we are trying to decide if it’s worth watching. Uncle Joe is taking center stage – he’s always good for a laugh or two. And Yellowstone is not on.

Hell, why not. Or in Beto-speak. Adios, amigo.
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