Editor’s Note: There are times in life to give politics a rest and just have some fun. In this column, Liberty Nation explores the many possibilities of what men and women can do outside their respective gender stereotypes. As you read this, perhaps you too will think of something new to try.
A Man Can: Cook Roast Chicken
In our caveman days, a man would hunt and bring back the food. Perhaps his cave wife would cook it, perhaps not. But it’s unlikely that she put on a herb crust or a brandy and cream sauce. The prowess of a man, his value as a provider in many ways, was measured by the meat he bought home.
There are obviously some historical inaccuracies in this vision of the past … For example, the tribes of Papua New Guinea, who essentially lived as stone age people until modern times, would tell tales of how they caught a large frog. And that’s a good thing because the story also increases the value of the hunter …
But today, meh, any idiot can go to the store and get food. A robot can. In fact, as is becoming more common, you can do it from home with a few clicks of the mouse.
So how does a man demonstrate this ability? Because, believe me, this ancient routine is buried far too deeply in our cultural and genetic psyche to have no value in the space of a single generation. It’s still important, but it manifests itself in … let’s call it a more culturally and societally appropriate way.
A man can show his prowess not by purchasing a microwavable meal, but by showing that he understands not only the preparation of quality food but also the correct application of man’s oldest friend: fire.
The Perfect “No Knife” Chicken
What is a No Knife roast chicken? Simply, it is a bird that is so done to perfection that you don’t even need a knife* to take the meat of the carcass.
The aim here is to get the chicken to the point of succulence that you can literally just tear off hunks of meat with your hands (or a set of tongs if you prefer). As Liberty Nation Legal Affairs Editor Scott D. Cosenza, Esq. rightly points out, “the test of good chef is how well they make a roast chicken.” Just follow the steps below to make a succulent, seasoned meal with minimal effort.
- Heat your oven to 375°F.
- Weigh the chicken.
- Use a knife to score the skin (shallow crisscross cuts).
- Drizzle olive oil on the skin.
- Rub a couple of pinches of salt into the top of the bird.
- Optional: Crush a couple of cloves of garlic and rub them into the top of the bird, too.
- Add a small drizzle of oil to the bottom of a shallow roasting dish.
- Put the chicken in the dish, cover the bird loosely with a piece of foil and put it all in the oven.
- Every 25 minutes, take the bird out and turn it over, recover with the foil.
- After your last turn back to the original position, remove the foil (this helps the skin crisp)
Cooking Time: Roughly 20 minutes per pound – although if you have a meat thermometer, just keep going until the internal temperature is around 170°F.
How to Serve
The meat is the star of this meal. Serve it on a wooden chopping board alongside a big bowl of salad. If you’re using your hands to serve, use cloth napkins, not papertowels.
A Woman Can: Talk Baseball With the Best of Them
Famed Sportswriter Tom Verducci is not the only one who can talk about launch angles, changeups, sliders, and OPS. He may write about these things better than most, but women can talk baseball, too. There has been some debate that the new owner of the New York Mets baseball team purchased it at the urging of his wife – who is widely rumored to know more about the team than her husband.
Whether this is a fact or an entertaining marketing narrative is anyone’s guess. However, there is no doubt that Steve Cohen’s wife, Alex, may have given knowledgeable female baseball fans a long-overdue seat in the front row of the stadium, right behind Homeplate.
Sabermetrics Is Not Brain Surgery
Perhaps more than any other sport, America’s pastime is discussed in analytic terms. As Kevin Costner points out in the movie, For Love of the Game, “We count everything in baseball.” While statistics are a vital part of the game, it is meaningless unless one has learned the language of baseball. And there exists a plethora of baseball terminology. Put these two things together – stats and lingo – and you have something called Sabermetrics.
OPS or “on-base plus slugging percentage” is not a mystery if you watch close to 162 games a season. It is incredible how easy it is to talk baseball if you understand the acronyms: ERA (earned run average) and XBH (extra-base hits) will roll off the tongue if you care to learn about such things.
However, the real problem for the baseball-wise woman lies in talking with men about her favorite sport because they tend to get defensive. At one cocktail party, a fellow remarked that he was a huge Mets fan. The woman countered with a simple, “Well, what did you think of Harvey’s last outing?” Caught in the honey trap, the man responded, “Who’s Harvey?”
Then there are those men who simply will not talk baseball with a woman for fear they will be outclassed. “Can you believe deGrom’s 1.36 ERA?” a woman might ask, only to receive a mumble from a man before he turns away to talk to another guy about pitching and two-time Cy Young Award winner Jacob deGrom.
Then there are those of the male species who know zip about the sport but are too afraid to ask a woman to explain. They find baseball boring because they cannot tell a slider from a changeup. If a woman jumps in to enlighten them, they appear threatened and bewildered.
Should this take away a woman’s interest in American’s favorite pastime? Hell, no. We all might not be Tom Verducci, but we can hold our own in any conversation about baseball, even if we run across a man who is intimidated by our baseball savvy.