How is this working out for you? A tongue-in-cheek review of the year so far...
The year was 2020, a year that will live in infamy. We know this because President Donald Trump himself coined that famous turn of phrase. Well, actually, he said: “This year, they’ve all got it in for me,” but close enough. Still and all, it was a truly horrible year, and Americans, along with most of the world’s population, breathed a collective sigh of relief when it was over. 2021 couldn’t possibly be worse, right? Well, not so fast, because we are less than a week into the new year, and it’s already a circus.
Closing in on two months since the presidential election, and we still do not officially know who will lead the nation for the next four years. The 80 million Americans who (likely) voted for Trump still believe and hope that 45 will remain at the helm. At the same time, the 50 million who voted for Joe Biden, along with five million deceased, 3 million illegal aliens, and 22 million people who never existed, say that Trump’s time as commander in chief is over.
Revolting Republicans
Half of the Republican Party is rebelling against the certification of the Electoral College vote. The other half is so terrified of Nancy Pelosi’s artificially enhanced scowl that they dare not.
Congress is handing out money faster than the transgender community of Pakistan will ever be able to spend it. Americans are getting so little of that money that they couldn’t even afford gender reassignment surgery in Pakistan – which is probably a good thing.
Dinosaurs’ Domiciles Defaced
Speaking of the Speaker, Nancy Pelosi had her house defaced by angry – or bored – left-wing activists. Then, not to be outdone, Mitch McConnell paid some out-of-work bartenders to do the same to his house.
Iran has threatened to kill President Trump. Several Hollywood celebrities now plan to sue the mullahs for plagiarism. Alec Baldwin, in particular, is rumored to be muy furioso. Nobody really knows whether the creators of The Walking Dead are working on another season or if they just got bored with it. Perhaps, since the election, they decided it was no longer fiction.
Pandemic Pandemonium
COVID-19 is now officially the worst thing that has ever happened to human civilization. Unless everyone wears a mask – even to bed – and renounces all forms of enjoyment, personal freedom, and thoughts of disobeying the government, there will soon be only 99.97% of us left. Fear not, though, because the people in charge plan to force us all to submit to an untested vaccination – because that’s science.
In living memory, was there another January 3 on which Americans arose from their beds, stared out their windows, sipped their coffees, and realized that they had absolutely no freaking idea what the year ahead had in store for them? Almost certainly not.
Is that a bad thing, though, or is it an opportunity? The future is so vague, and the ruling class so utterly divided and unprepared for it that maybe ordinary folk has the advantage – for perhaps the first time in hundreds of years. Possibly 2021 can be one of those years that come around every six or seven generations. Maybe this is a year in which people, not governments, change the paradigm entirely, thus ensuring that it will be at least two or three centuries before we have another 2020.
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Read more from Graham J. Noble.
