Microlooting. Survival technique. Political protest. Over the years, we have learned that progressive dogma can justify any odious act by deluding the public that everyone they do not like is the worst person on Earth. This is why the vacuous slogans espoused on the left – “billionaires shouldn’t exist” or “eat the rich” – are popular platitudes because, repeated often enough, they seep into the hive mind’s subconscious without too much critical thinking.
As time marches on, millions of people seem to believe everything they desire – internet, food, or a college diploma – is a human right.
Progressive Progress in Shoplifting
"Why should I have to pay for organic avocados?" This is what political discourse has devolved into.
Last month, The New York Times produced an episode of "The Opinions," featuring the communist bobby-soxer Hasan Piker and The New Yorker writer Jia Tolentino. The guests essentially spent 30-plus minutes trying to justify theft, whether stealing groceries from Whole Foods or sharing Netflix account passwords. They moralized the issue, arguing that big corporations are ostensibly stealing from their workers and the public.
Yes, but theft is already factored in, says Piker. "The lemons that you stole are factored into the bottom line of these mega-corporations regardless," he said.
But won't rampant theft raise prices? "Yeah, chaos. Full chaos. Let's go," Piker, worth approximately $10 million, argued.
So, it would be fine to steal from New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani's government-owned grocery stores, then? "No, I would not, because I feel like that's taxpayer-funded, it's union labor, and the prices are also adjusted regardless."
This is the type of logic that would be expected from progressive teenagers and college students who have been fed a steady diet of philosophical failure, a creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, during a four-year sentence at an Ivy League institution. But older adults, whose brains have fully developed (hopefully), should know better.
One by One
First, it is correct to say that corporations have penciled theft in their ledgers. But they only factor in so much. If Acme International calculates losses from theft at 3% a year, but then finds that it has climbed to 20%, it would be challenging for the company not to adapt to the circumstances. As a result, it will employ different tactics, all of which Piker would oppose: locking items behind glass cages, raising prices drastically, or closing entirely (remember CVS in San Francisco?).
Two, consumers pay a higher premium for organic products, particularly for avocados, which require an intensive production process: grafting, irrigation, mulching, pruning, flowering, harvesting, packing, the list goes on. A millionaire millennial from Greenwich Village who thinks he is sticking it to Whole Foods by stealing organic avocados is harming people in Mexico and Peru.
Three, Piker cited Friedrich Engels and his idea of social murder. He specifically pointed to the death of former United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson, arguing that he engaged "in a tremendous amount of social murder.” Essentially, according to Piker, the private health care system has produced "pervasive pain." The issue is that it is difficult to contend that the United States maintains a fully private health care system when there are so many government bailouts, interventions, regulations, rules, and subsidies. America’s health care model is not based on the free-enterprise system but rather a middle-of-the-road policy.
Finally, it is safe to say that nobody should steal from Hasan Piker or The New York Times (not even staples or pens). One thing we have learned in recent years is that progressives fail to practice what they preach. Based on comments during the half-hour episode, Piker wants others to steal from supermarkets, but he will not lead the crusade. He wants Americans to rob the rich, but he would not urge anyone else to do the same to him. It is similar to those Hollywood celebrities who decry the 1% or deliver land acknowledgements, but neither donate their fortunes nor give away their mansions to Native tribes.
Progressive Facepalm
Leftism might be good for simplistic slogans found on a button clipped to a New York University student’s backpack strap. However, a deeper dive, an exploration of ideas, or even the Socratic method could perhaps persuade someone to rescind their citizenship of Progressive Land.
Until wealthy socialists like Piker allow John Smith and Jane Doe to steal from their fortune, one can only deduce that they are foolish or merely trolling. The latter would be a relief.



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