As Special Counsel Robert Mueller runs his impending final Russia Collusion report through spell-check, those on the left may be facing a serious psychological issue: The Empty Nest Syndrome. Not since Senator Joe McCarthy (R-WI) went down in flames has the left been on such tenterhooks, and one wonders how they will weather this storm.
Similar to dropping your last child off at their dorm room and making that lonely trek across the quad to the car, intense feelings of grief are anticipated by those who have spent two years nurturing the narrative that Donald Trump is a Russian agent. Even this week, that very concept was floated by none other than the disgraced former deputy director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Andrew McCabe.
It appears that the radical left has three options in response to the forthcoming Mueller Report. They could go bananas over some small thing and blow it up into a Watergate-style call for the president’s resignation. They could fall into deep depression, feeling as if their lives no longer have meaning or purpose. Or – the most likely scenario – they could do both.
…it’s likely their grief could last a good, long time.
Should the empty nesters go for option three, they would still need to deal with a few serious behavioral issues that may result in overeating, alcoholism, insomnia, or even a further loss of libido. Of course, this could be managed with a little help from Big Pharma. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and their prescription cousins could be just what the doctor orders. Thus, should the rabid anti-Trumpers suffer any of these depressive symptoms, they could choose Cymbalta, Zoloft, or Prozac. Paxil might not be the best choice, as that can cause serious weight gain – putting them right back into depression.
Since dealing with empty nest syndrome requires acceptance, it’s likely their grief could last a good, long time. Acceptance is a concept with which the left has struggled mightily since Mr. Trump entered the political scene. In many ways, this fifth and final phase of the famed Elisabeth Kubler-Ross paradigm is their Waterloo. And one questions whether those who have objectified the president as evil incarnate are even capable of reaching this end-stage by embracing reality at this late juncture.
This inability to process and integrate acceptance into their lives could produce something called empty “next” syndrome, in which those despondent creatures on the left furiously seek to replace their hollow feelings with something new. If Mueller couldn’t bring Trump down, then there must be something else. What about his tax returns? Perhaps the legacy media could dig up some 30-year-old business practice that violates one rule or another. The simplest method would be to unearth another sex scandal, though that hasn’t proven as useful as the left had hoped. From Access Hollywood to Stormy Daniels – this category of public disgrace has been less than effective. And this has caused a good deal of frustration among the so-called Resistance.
Moreover, the empty “next” syndrome is nothing more than replacement therapy which often prolongs and exacerbates negative behaviors. Mental health professionals often suggest that empty nesters find something new to occupy their troubled mind. Perhaps we will witness long lines at Michael’s or Hobby Lobby as those on the left take up needlepoint or flower arranging? Another avenue suggested by the Mayo Clinic is for empty nesters to seek support by sharing their feelings with like-minded individuals. This might be the best choice of all, as leftists tend to gather together in safe spaces and reveal their darkest Trump paranoia to one another in group therapy.
Since this is still a free country, those on the left will have a variety of opportunities open to them in which to heal. Still, this may be a good time for conservatives to give the empty nest left a wide berth in which to grieve. As it is often said, the road to recovery isn’t always easy, but it’s best for those who truly seek healing to take it one day at a time.