The left has told us that Confederate monuments and flags were racist – and we listened. Indeed, they’re being taken down from coast to coast. Oh, there was some resistance early on, but, as Liberty Nation’s Jeff Charles explained, The Washington Post proved undeniably that all who oppose removal are racist – yep, even if they’re black.
Once that finally sank in – once we were “woke” to true enlightenment – it all started to fall into place. Of course, the Star-Spangled Banner is racist. How could we not have seen that before? And Christianity? Talk about oppressive! But, we’re on top of that too. On October 18, the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals finally ruled that the Peace Cross, a 40-foot cross erected in 1925 to honor the memory of 49 men lost during World War I, must be removed.
That’s Quite a Load
We’re finally making some progress in purging this nation of hateful ideologies and their effigies. But in our zeal, we’ve stumbled upon one little problem. All these statues and flags are beginning to pile up. Each one to be removed from public view is one more that must be hidden away somewhere private – lest it inadvertently triggers some poor, unsuspecting snowflake. What can the left do with all these monuments – especially a 40-foot tall cross? Well, I have a few suggestions that should prove helpful.
They Can Shove It
Obviously, they can just shove it somewhere out of the way – just about any old unused area will work. Keep in mind, however, that there are quite a few monuments that’ll need to be hidden and former memorials aren’t the only things that may need storage. So, whatever the choice for hidey-hole, make sure to really cram it in there tight – fill all the nooks and crannies.
Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine
Old warehouses, barns, and storage units are perfect for this. Even abandoned homes work, just make sure to cover the windows adequately. Toss all that other junk out – none of it is nearly as important as this critical public service – and stack these abominations up, safely out of view where the sun doesn’t shine. Don’t have access to enough suitable facilities? Just invoke the rights of eminent domain and take one!
In the Rear
Sometimes there just isn’t an adequate place nearby in which to hide such atrocities quickly enough. It’s imperative that all these icons be removed from the public eye immediately. If there’s simply not enough room inside, there may be no other choice than to take it elsewhere – like around back. If push comes to shove, a monument can be hidden behind a house or building where few are likely to see it. Make sure it’s tight to the rear of the structure, however, so it can’t be viewed accidentally while passing by on the street. And make certain always to use the back door – spare the neighbors having to watch.
And that’s it – three handy solutions to a quickly growing problem. Just remember to remain firm, don’t take no for an answer, and get those monuments as promptly as possible out of sight and out of mind.