Is there a connection between the lemur and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?
Lemurs are the most primitive of primates. The saucer-eyed prosimians, native to Madagascar, have a diverse panoply of unique characteristics that make them more than just “spirits of the night.” Lemurs enjoy residing at the top of the rainforest canopy, they are uncompetitive, many of them are primarily herbivores, females are dominant, and sometimes they perform a yoga pose after releasing feces.
Trudeau might be the most primitive of politicians. The slick-haired “empty trust fund millionaire,” native to Ottawa, has a wide array of interesting personality traits that makes him more than just the world’s most “woke” head of state. Trudeau talks down to the population from atop his pedestal, his brand of socialism dismisses competition in favor of trophies for all, he imbibes herbal teas, his wife seems tougher than he does, and he likes to break out an “accidental” yoga pose from time to time.
Since the Trudeau family’s return from their vacation, er, trade mission to India earlier this year, it has been an interesting time in Canadian politics, one that has been mostly consumed by the simple act of slamming the palm of your hand to your forehead. You can’t help but wonder: how did Trudeau rise to the most powerful position of a G7 state?
So, what has happened since Trudeau went Bollywood? Grab your two tongues, hold onto your tail, and ensure you’re woke enough to bask in the prime minister’s superior intellect.
The Khan-Trudeau Affair
The Aga Khan scandal is one that will never die.
Here is a summary of what occurred: in December 2014, Trudeau used taxpayer resources to take his family for a vacation to the private island owned by the Aga Khan. It was later revealed that Sophie Gregoire Trudeau took a separate vacation there in March 2016. The excuses and the fibs have been endless: everything from claiming that he is a family friend (Trudeau hadn’t seen the Aga Khan since 2000) to noting that the cost to taxpayers was very little.
The uproar prompted the Ethics Commissioner to launch a probe, which ruled that he violated four sections of the Conflict of Interest Act.
Despite the incident affecting his reputation and eroding his approval rating, Trudeau has been completely tone-deaf. In May 2018, the PMO confirmed that Trudeau had dinner with the Aga Khan as part of his nationwide tour. Even lemurs can learn complex tasks from memory.
‘Come From Away’ Tickets for All
The hit Broadway show, Come From Away, has become a massive Canadian success. The production continues to win awards, sell out theaters, and receive superb reviews. It can be difficult to get your hands on these tickets.
Don’t worry, though, Trudeau has you covered – that is, if you’re well connected.
According to the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, the federal government purchased 502 tickets to a performance in New York City in July 2017, costing Canadians more than $23,000. What’s worse is that of the 700 VIPs who were invited, fewer than 300 accepted the invitation – you probably didn’t witness Trudeau try to scalp the leftover tickets.
It might seem like a waste of finite taxpayer resources, but the government didn’t see it that way:
“The story highlights how Canada is a committed global citizen, and highlights priorities of diversity and inclusion. The story also strongly underlines the Canada-U.S. friendship and cooperation and advances Canada’s interest.”
That Awkward NYU Speech
Once again, Trudeau found himself on foreign soil – it seems like he spends most of his time everywhere else but Canada – lecturing future generations about the evils of nationalism and the virtues of globalism.
Trudeau might deliver excellent prepared remarks, but if there is one thing that he can’t do well, it’s thinking on his feet and speaking without a teleprompter. Some of his greatest hits include “peoplekind,” “modest deficits,” and “the budget will balance itself.”
In May, Trudeau gave a commencement address to New York University graduates at Yankee Stadium. The speech was full of empty platitudes, complete with vacuous polemics that lacked any meaning, and were filled with contradictions to his own record, such as one must not “cocoon ourselves in an ideological, social or intellectual bubble” and should refrain from “[engaging] only with people with whom we already agree.”
Trudeau even channeled his inner Hillary Clinton by shouting an outdated reference to Pokémon Go.
Yes, this is about the time you can smack your forehead with the palm of your hand.
Apologizing – It’s The Canadian Way
Whether it is the Indian garments or wasting of tax dollars, Trudeau can overdo it. For example, Canadians are known across the globe for their apologies, but Trudeau overdoes it – all the time.
Every month or so, Trudeau is seen speaking in the House of Commons, apologizing for some “dark chapter” in the nation’s history. Canada, like nearly every single other country on the planet, has erred from time to time, such as denying German Jewish refugees in June 1939 or the residential school system for Natives.
In 1864, before Canadian confederation, six aboriginal Tsilhqot’in chiefs were hanged by the British colonial government for killing white road-building workers who had entered Tsilhqot’in territory without permission. Trudeau exonerated the Native leaders and issued an extensive apology:
“We recognize that these six chiefs were leaders of a nation, that they acted in accordance with their laws and traditions and that they are well regarded as heroes of their people.
They acted as leaders of a proud and independent nation facing the threat of another nation.
As settlers came to the land in the rush for gold, no consideration was given to the rights of the Tsilhqot’in people who were there first. No consent was sought.”
What’s next? Apologizing because Canada only has one Major League Baseball team?
Kinder Morgan’s Trans Mountain Pipeline
Recently, the federal government announced that it will purchase the contentious Trans Mountain expansion pipeline from Kinder Morgan for $4.5 billion – $1.2 billion more than the project is worth.
Not only is Ottawa nationalizing an asset that moves crude oil and refined products from the oilsands in Alberta to British Columbia, the government spent more than it needed to.
Finance Minister Bill Morneau said the government does not intend to be a long-term owner, but experts warn that Ottawa will have a hard time selling the system. In addition to the added cost, the government needs to prove that the initial risks associated with the project have diminished.
But the costs are expected to balloon after Morneau announced that the federal government will extend loan guarantees to ensure that construction of the pipeline continues for the remainder of 2018.
Taxpayers likely aren’t happy, but Kinder Morgan shareholders are ecstatic because the stock surged nearly 3% to $17 following the announcement.
Pouting Over NAFTA Sunset Clause
Trade relations between the U.S. and Canada are souring after Washington imposed tariffs on steel and aluminum imports and Ottawa retaliated with $16 billion worth of levies on a range of products.
Why did this even occur in the first place? Well, Trudeau doesn’t want a five-year sunset clause in a newly negotiated North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA).
According to the prime minister, Vice President Mike Pence noted that there would be a condition on the next meeting between Trudeau and President Donald Trump: NAFTA needs to be renewed every five years. It is a legitimate clause, considering how economies are rapidly changing.
A trade war might commence, NAFTA may crumble, and trade could deteriorate because of Trudeau’s pouting.
Perhaps it is time Trudeau returned to the classroom to teach drama and the humanities.
The Trudeau Social Justice Cape
Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who wasn’t much of a conservative in the first place, was a boring statesman. He was the typical old white male that the social justice crowd loves to admonish, ridicule, and vilify. Harper was detested by the media because he didn’t say heartwarming things, he didn’t wear colorful socks, and he didn’t take selfie after selfie.
The world and the media’s love affair with Trudeau continues, but average Canadians already see through the prime minister. There’s a reason why around a third of Canadians view Trudeau as weak, arrogant, and bumbling. The Trudeau brand may flourish in Hollywood or generate excitement on daytime TV talk shows, but the brand might be toxic come 2019 when voters head to the ballot box.
The smarter a lemur, the more popular it is. Is this why Trudeau’s popularity is slowly sinking?
What do you think of Justin Trudeau? Let us know in the comments section!
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