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Joe Biden Refuses to Let Presidenting Disrupt Another Vacation

A satirical swipe at our humble chief executive's well-deserved luxury break.

Americans probably felt even closer to their favorite president of all time, Joe Biden, when they learned on Dec. 17 that he would be taking a New Year vacation to the place where working-class types love to hang out: the Caribbean island of St. Croix. No one deserves it more. Biden, 85 or 6 or 3, has over the past three years been compelled to cut short several holidays to pretend he’s running the country. The Bidens jetted off to the playground of the elites forthwith, not even pausing to deny allegations of wrongdoing. According to sources invented by Liberty Nation, the First Family will be joined by son Hunter, several Chinese and Ukrainian businessmen, and the Colorado State Supreme Court.

It’s fitting that a tireless lifelong servant of the American people – and several million illegal aliens – should be treated to yet another lavish vacation. Joe Biden, 89, served faithfully in the US Senate for 36 years, during which time he fought bravely to prevent the United States from becoming, in his words, a “racial jungle.” Then, in 2009, he faced a new challenge as vice president. In 2017, he took a hiatus from public service and spent several blissful years at his home in Wilmington, DE, with his wife, Jill Biden, PhD, Md, MMA, WTF.

New Banner - Graham Noble Banner with CopyRumor has it that Biden, 93, passed most of that time living in his garage in a fort he built out of boxes of classified government documents. He ventured out only occasionally to perform death-defying stunts on his bicycle.

The Golden Years of Joe Biden

In 2020, Joe Biden decided to jump back into the political fray. But it was not to be, and, in January 2021, he retired to the White House. There, his wife and a group of loyal companions have worked around the clock to convince Joe that he was elected president of the United States, having won more votes than any candidate in American history.

Almost immediately upon entering the White House, Joe Biden, 96, followed in the footsteps of his hero, Benito Mussolini, and transitioned from socialist to fascist. Ideologically speaking, this is like switching from Democratic Socialist to Social Democrat. But, once again, Biden had proved that he could change with the times.

As he basks in the sun in the US Virgin Islands, Biden can feel proud that the American economy is now so good that people are willingly paying twice as much for everything as they were during the apocalyptic days of the Trump administration.

While his caregivers work behind the scenes to ensure that nobody is allowed to prevent him from extending his stay at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Joe Biden, 98, is living it up in his golden years. Benefactors from all over the world have showered him with money, managed by his loving son.

There is a lesson for everyone here, as the media continue to defy Biden’s orders to start reporting on the economy “the right way” and instead give people the impression that things are bad. Joe Biden achieved the American dream. All it takes is money, connections, privilege, and tens of millions of people who are willing to ignore all your faults because they hate the other guy so much. Well done, Mr. Biden. Enjoy your free vacation. You may not have earned it, but the American people did — and that’s good enough for you.

Read More From Graham J Noble

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