The Cracker Barrel restaurant chain – an oasis on the road for some folks and a friendly, family place – has been turned into a hospital cafeteria by a CEO who doesn't seem to have a clue about who dines in the establishment and why. NYC Mayor Eric Adams has more problems with his staff as he mounts an uphill battle to keep his job. Then there’s California’s governor, Gavin Newsom, whose hair never moves but his mouth surely does – he’s ready to have anyone on the radical left who listens to him attempt to punch MAGA people in the kisser.
Cracker Barrel Says to Bud Light: Hold My Beer
The iconic sign of Uncle Herschel sitting next to a barrel is gone. The rocking chairs on the verandas are apparently staying, but that kitchy and sentimental old America in the dining rooms has been stripped and replaced with a sterile environment that is as welcome to hungry folks and weary travelers as a rattler in your muck boot. Last year, Cracker Barrel’s CEO, Julie Felss Masino, described the restaurant as "not as relevant as we once were," and announced plans to update its down-home menu. Heartlanders do not appreciate change: Just ask Bud Light. And it would appear Julie is not MAGA inclined.
Jeremy Grant in Cordova, AL, was adamant: “Done with it! Cater to your city folk. I’ll go mom and pop from now on.”
The restaurant was named after cracker barrels: Crackers were shipped that way to avoid breakage. The old gentleman on the logo was Uncle Herschel, a family member of the restaurant's founders, and the menu is not something to change. It’s breakfast, dinner, and supper like grandma used to make. Keep in mind that the heartland thinks gravy is a food group. In Michigan, Ricardo Tombelli expressed his distaste: “Guaranteed she’s never eaten a single biscuit with sausage gravy in her entire life.”
Tonya MacRae, from Cullman, AL, who spent 14 years working for the brand, chimed in: “You can’t kill Uncle Herschel and expect us to keep visiting this store!”
Well, it happened. “Shares of Cracker Barrel fell $4.22, or 7.2%, to $54.80 in Thursday trading, shedding $94 million in market value. The stock had dipped to a low of $50.27 earlier in the day, representing a loss of almost $200 billion in its capitalization,” according to a CBS News report.
In Paducah, KY, Jalonda Stokes Dutton asked: “Did they not learn from Budweiser? We do not scream, we do not protest, just go somewhere else.”
Uncle Herschel is relegated to the team of Uncle Ben, Aunt Jemima, the Land O Lakes Indian Princess, the Eskimo Pie boy, the Washington Redskins, and the Cleveland Indians.
Is Colonel Sanders in witness protection?
All That and a Bag of Chips
Winnie Greco, the former director of Asian Affairs to New York City Mayor Eric Adams, was “suspended from [Adams'] re-election campaign on Wednesday after giving a journalist cash tucked inside a potato chip bag,” as reported by The New York Times.
Allegedly, Greco stuffed a wad of cash inside a red Chinese envelope and then camouflaged the possible bribe by tucking the envelope in an open bag of Herr’s Sour Cream and Onion ripple chips. If you are still reading, there’s more weird stuff coming down the pike.
The City’s Katie Honan was the lucky reporter blessed by Greco. It is reported that Honan kept trying to give the bag back, but much to her chagrin, Greco just said no. Journalists today must not be very observant, or perhaps Katie might have been wondering if anyone had seen her take the bribery bag, and so she tried to give it all back. Most journalists would probably freak out when handed a bag of chips with no chips and a bankroll.
But Greco pleaded her case, leaving messages at Honan’s office, and begging the reporter to keep her name out of the news cycle. “I make a mistake,” she told The City in an interview. “I’m so sorry. It’s a culture thing. I don’t know. I don’t understand. I’m so sorry. I feel so bad right now. I’m so sorry, honey. Can we forget about this? I try to be a good person. Please. Please. Please don’t do in the news nothing about me.”
Watching the Adams campaign implode was Steven Pierce in Louisville: “Well, it's about time something besides air and a few chips were put in the bag.”
California Dreamin’: MAGA Threats
Gavin Newsom’s pipe dreams of becoming the Democratic Party’s nominee for president seem to have taken a toll on the guy. Appearing on the The Siren podcast, Newsom had a moment while talking about rigging the election through gerrymandering – something that his state has done every chance it gets: “We’re fighting fire with fire, and we’re gonna punch these sons of b****es in the mouth,” the governor said, implying that MAGA folks were a legitimate target for violence.
Not only that, but he offended everyone by calling their mom a bad name. Does he know MAGA resides in the swing states? One can imagine how folks from the back forty responded. Most offered to show up in red and let the coiffed Newsom give it a whirl. Most middle America women could take him out with one well-placed punch. These gals deal with 1,200-pound animals daily.
But it was Wayne Thomas in Ohio who summed it up with advice: “If he is inciting National violence against a political party or political group, it could be considered sedition or insurrection, which falls under laws like 18 U.S.C. § 2383 and would be punishable by up to 10 years in federal prison.” Thomas went further, saying, “My advice to Newsom is button up that big mouth of his. Such violent rhetoric could put him in the hoosegow for quite a while.” Who else but a heartlander would say “hoosegow?”
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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest-running and most popular weekly column.
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