From the Back Forty: Hillary Clinton’s Epstein Merch Not a Hit in the Heartland

Another report of “Smolleting” has surfaced in the political mean streets, this time in Texas. Plus, Hillary Clinton seems to believe she is one funny gal as she shills merchandise for her charity. And another shooting has taken place on a “gun-free” campus. The intruder shouted "Allahu Akbar" and then opened fire, killing an instructor. Students acted fast, took the intruder down, and one student killed the Jihadist offender with a knife. It was a bouncy, bountiful week for debate – and the heartland had its say.

Hillary Has Something to Say – Again

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently testified before the House Oversight Committee regarding what she knew about Jeffrey Epstein. She claims she didn’t know him well and had “no idea about their criminal activities,” adding that she could “not recall ever encountering Mr. Epstein.” She also stated she had “never flown on his plane or visited his island home or offices” and described groomer Ghislaine Maxwell as someone she knew only “casually, as an acquaintance.”

But that woman can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Now Clinton’s political non-profit is selling “contempt” trinkets.

In Appleton, WI, Scott Ross, who obviously has audit on his mind after the Learing Center experience, commented: “It’s always been a money laundering scheme, wish they would have a full audit.” John Achtemeier in Carroll, IA, observed: “Hillary without makeup looks a lot like George Soros.” Now no one can unsee that.

In Michigan, Dan Ray asked out loud: “Does that come with a ‘I got five people killed in Benghazi’ shirt?”

Heroes Begin Young

Heartlanders, many of whom own and are proficient in several different types of firearms, are reminding people that gun-free zones are invitations to terror. Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA, has a gun-free campus – but that did not prevent an attacker from opening fire on March 12 in an ROTC classroom. Mohamed Bailor Jalloh arrived, yelled “Allahu Akbar,” and then opened fire. Maybe they just need more signs – including some in Arabic.

The Sierra Leone transplant was subdued by students, one of whom killed him with a knife. In Michigan, Leonard Bloom said: “Ok but with all fairness the ROTC guys did kill him without a gun just saying they were trained obviously in hand-to-hand combat or country boy know-how give them a silver star!”

But Mark Hagan in KY, asked a chilling question: “You think a Jihadi cares?”

Trump Is Shaking in His Florsheims

They thought they had him. But alas, disappointment leaked from the left as Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-OH) discovered she did not, in fact, catch President Donald Trump on a racist issue. Instead, she simply showed herself to be old and out of touch. Beatty believed she had been excluded from a board meeting of the Kennedy Center. The Hill reported that attorneys were already salivating and creating all sorts of great paperwork and court filings to sue the president. Then CNN stumbled along and posted this on X:

“In today’s edition of Washington is Veep: A Democratic congresswoman made a legal complaint against President Donald Trump for, in part, excluding her from an upcoming Kennedy Center board meeting. The invitation, it turned out, was in her spam folder. Aide filed an update today.”

In New Braunfels, TX, Dale Savell was frustrated with the rush-to-sue mentality: “Her competency in life is suspect. If she was made to pay the lawsuit costs, it might teach her an important lesson in life.” You mean, like a normal person? Most folks in the heartland want to know who would sue for lack of an invitation to a board meeting. Congressional Democrats, apparently.

Roma Daravi, vice president of public relations for the Kennedy Center, responded in a quote tweet: “Did the dog also eat her homework?”

Brad Webber just wanted to know if she has great-grandkids around to help, and said: “This one has all the hallmarks of a password123 power user.” And Travis Trombly in Novi, MI, simply had to say: “Learing Center strikes again.”

Another Cum Laude From a Learing Center Near You

Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-TX) sure can pick ‘em. The losing US Senate candidate with the frighteningly large eyelashes paid a man named “Mike King” for “security services” in 2025, according to CBS. It seems the man had a criminal record and paraded about in an “unmarked” style car with stolen plates, impersonating a police officer. Stolen Valor exists everywhere. This report is past tense, however, as a SWAT team in Dallas canceled his subscription to life after he evaded officers and then pulled a gun on them. Now the folks From the Back Forty want to see his resume and application for signs that the dead guy who called himself King graduated from the Law Enforcement Division of the prestigious Learing Center. In Warren, OH, Justin Young wrote: “The jokes write themselves anymore.”

And unfortunately for Ms. Crockett, she won’t be able to “not recall” if she knew the man because they are together in a lot of photos on the campaign trail. So the heartland waits to hear the mile-long list of excuses that somehow make it Trump’s fault and not her own. Karma’s big sister, Instant Karma, must’ve known it was time to pounce. In Alabama, Eugene Benjamin Smith III offered: “She hired a felon to do her personal security. Nice.”

But grieving (one might surmise) Jasmine gets the last word: “Just because someone has committed a crime, it doesn't make them a criminal.”

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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest running and most popular weekly column.