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Flyover Country Blasts the Clintons

by | Mar 1, 2018 | Columns

If you’re multi-tasking, click here for an audio version:

Old Man Winter is skulking out of West Central Indiana as warmer temperatures and spring-like weather conditions have brought the natives out of hibernation (or back from Florida).

Nowhere was that more evident than at the Crossroads restaurant in Attica, Indiana, where members of the Liar’s Roundtable, all retired gentlemen of a certain age and full of opinions, assembled for an afternoon of coffee and conversation.

And they were at it full tilt when I arrived to eavesdrop.

Just Secondhand News

Mike and Walt were discussing the “lame” daytime program, The View – a show that as Mike says lost him after Barbara Walters left to get away from “that Joy Behar woman.”

“Her parents sure misnamed her,” Mike said, shaking his head. Someone else at the table muttered, “Satan was already taken.”  There were a lot of snorts and smirks at that jab.

The group parried back and forth about the Clinton family and the reported trail of death that followed in their wake after White Water. Naturally, Arkancide, the website of links to Clinton stories, facts, and rumors, was quickly accessed by smartphone and shared.

Apparently, even Behar and Whoopi Goldberg have conceded that the 25-year Clinton dynasty is officially over – whether due to the climate, #metoo, or the outright illegal, unethical, and immoral antics of Mrs. Clinton. At least we can move forward. Now if only someone would alert the media.

Are There any Americans in California?

Mike was rolling by the time someone mentioned “that California mayor,” and he blew steam as he explained to the furrowed brows of the uninformed about Mayor Libby Schaaf (D) of Oakland.

“She sent out a news release that ICE agents were preparing to conduct an operation and that illegals should hide.  She is aiding and abetting criminals, breaking federal laws and should be arrested.  Heck, it may even be an act of treason.  The Federal government needs to override any and all illegal activity that is promoted by sitting elected officials. Lock her up and lose the key.”

Larry finally piped up and asked, “When are those liberal nuts going to secede and leave us in peace?”

Don quietly added, “Anyone heard any San Andreas Fault line news?”  But the sobering voice of reason came from Dick as he reminded us, “We’d be stuck taking care of them then.”

What Are They Fighting For?

“Mike” from the Liar’s Roundtable

The conversation naturally made its way to immigration and the Dreamers, and consensus at the table was that no one knew what exactly they were protesting.

“George Soros pays these people to show up and raise Cain, but when they are asked, they can’t tell you what they want, just that they don’t like the president,” was Larry’s take, and the group went on to discuss the failure of Black Lives Matter and Antifa.

Davey asked: “You sure don’t hear about them anymore now do you?”

Out with the Old, and Blah Blah Blah

No one will forget the inaugural ball footage of Bill and Hill dancing to Fleetwood Mac’s 1970s anthem, Don’t Stop (dreaming about tomorrow).  Conservatives growled with discontent and Liberals beamed with optimism as they had ceremoniously unseated an incumbent and once-popular President George H.W. Bush.  And now we usher in another era of unforeseen political dominance.  After a rocky 18-months, threats from Steve Bannon, and an unwavering and loyal Trump base, the Republican Party is coming around.  The Democrats, not so much.  But their self-made quagmire of chaos without a message bodes well for conservatives in the coming Midterm elections.  If we are to believe that the Clinton era is truly behind us, perhaps we will celebrate and call on another Fleetwood Mac song to be played: “Second Hand News.” At least Mike thought it was a good idea.

As for the Liar’s roundtable, they scattered to pick up grandchildren, head to a high school basketball game, and to play in a local pickleball game.

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