As landing and marrying intelligent, beautiful, women goes, President Donald Trump may seem to be the reigning expert – at least in the eyes of one misguided Canadian man. Yianny Georgopoulos, armed with two bottles of Crown Royal to ply information from the president, is behind bars awaiting a psych evaluation for his uninvited appearance at the White House.
Secret Service agents apprehended the lonesome tourist attempting to remove a bicycle rack, labeled with restricted area warnings, and proceed on his mission to speak with the leader of the free world.
It was an undertaking fraught with fatal flaws.
Fatal Flaw # 1 – Know Your Secret Service
Georgopoulos is on a quest to find a wife – at least that is what he has explained to captors – and Trump seemed plenty blessed in that department and amiable enough to share his strategy for success. But D.C. does not share the Midwest’s penchant for unlocked domiciles and unannounced visits. And the secret service follows a certain, possibly for some unpleasant, regiment in enforcing the rules when seeking a sit-down with the president.
Barging in wielding alcohol as inducements is frowned upon.
But this isn’t the first loveless man to breach security. In 2005, Shawn Cox, of Mammoth Springs, Arkansas vaulted the executive residence fence in search of Chelsea Clinton. It mattered not that the former first kid had left the grounds in early 2001, as he was called to seek his soon to be bride.
Cox believed that Chelsea Clinton still lived at the White House, with George W., Laura, Jenna, and Barbara, and that he was destined to marry her. He swore that Bill Clinton promised her to him after a meet and greet in Arkansas.
Callous as it may appear, the people who protect the president do not care if you are a dateless wonder with no decent prospects.
Fatal Flaw # 2 – Research the Target
President Donald Trump does not drink. While some may call him the billionaire at the backyard barbeque, with his ineloquent speaking style and in your face analysis, the man does not fortify his presence with a lick of fire water. He prefers Diet Coke or Lemonade. [perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=”24″] …he is battling the asylum escapees also known as the 116th Congress.[/perfectpullquote]
For future trespassers wishing to curry favor with Trump, procuring Big Mac coupons and tubs of Country Time mix might be a better option.
Another intruder that did research his target well managed to take in a movie in the White House theater with the Roosevelt family. As credits rolled and the lights went on, a stranger stood next to the president, asking for an autograph. Roosevelt hastily scrawled his name for the man, called for security, and the interloper was escorted off the grounds without much incident. Luckily for the autograph seeker, his target was Franklin Delano and not Theodore, as Teddy Rex may have just shot the man between the eyes himself.
Oh, The Insanity
Attempts to breach the fortress on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are usually committed by mentally disturbed individuals with few exceptions, and perpetrators are most likely granted probation or a brief stay at a mental institution.
But not all: In 2014, the residence went on lockdown when a toddler squeezed through the iron gate panels and cruised onto the North lawn. The official report from Secret Service was, “We were going to wait until he learned to talk to question him, but in lieu of that he got a timeout and was sent on his way with his parents.”
Yianny Georgopoulos is in need of advice from Dr. Phil – who may want the gig for his television show – but he, like Trump, does not drink. Perhaps the velvety voiced Delilah, nighttime host for the eternally romantic, might be another solid choice for the Canadian to tell his tales of lonely woe. What we do know is that President Trump, who does have a track record of marrying beautiful and smart women, is too busy to be of much assistance, as he is battling the asylum escapees also known as the 116th Congress.
