As raucous cheers for President Trump’s battle to build a border barrier down south became background noise in the Swamp, Heartlanders turned their attention to the burgeoning field of Democratic contenders for president and the felonious shenanigans of a man in hot water for crying wolf.
From the frozen tundra of Chicago to the frigid plains and prairie states, the news that amused on social media also demonstrated a continued growing division between Americans and a resurgence of socialist desires. But the majority is silent no more, and keystroke by keystroke, folks made their voices heard.
Feels Like a Rug Bern
This week, unsurprisingly, 77-year old Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) tossed his frumpy fedora into the ring and announced he would give campaigning for president one more try. Possibly, he saw the contenders so far as easy pickings. Heck, he may be right.
Although he is not a black woman – something the Dems seem to desperately want in a Trump challenger – the geezer has a prodigious database of Bernie Bros who raised $228 million in 2016. In the first solid day after his recent campaign announcement, more than 220,000 donors shelled out $5.9 million to support the little one-percenter millionaire socialist.
Outside of the Bernie bubble of free stuff and short work weeks, real people were discussing what Sanders will bring to the table. “Too funny, Bernie is not radical enough for today’s losers,” was the analysis by Tom Kelly amidst questions and snide remarks from apparent Democrats. One such random leftist, Larry Fallon, a former union boss claimed, “He lost me when he rolled over for the Clintons,” and, gasp, Randy Marbles opined, “Pass. Just a thought- Perhaps he should run as an ‘I’ , you know, the party he’s identified with for decades. Then he can’t scapegoat the DNC for his shortcomings. It ain’t open mic anymore Bernbern.”
This was akin to dousing the dreams of freeloaders with gas and tossing a lit match into the mix. The thread went up like a roman candle with a lot of cussing and poorly crafted memes to argue their point for a Bernie presidency.
Meanwhile, MAGA Country Fries Eggs
Americans can’t turn on the news or scroll through Facebook or Twitter without Jussie Smollett’s mug staring back. The black, openly gay – and recently outed as deceitful – man is an actor pulling down over $1 million a year on the television show, Empire. In a failed attempt to fatten his wallet, Smollett has alienated Hollywood, Chicago, and the media with a faux hate crime. A crime that insiders say he plotted, orchestrated, and purchased to gain sympathy from the network to get a raise.
…news media fawned and frothed at the idea of a Jussie Smollett interview.
But his charade quickly unraveled once law enforcement began investigating the claims that MAGA-yelling thugs attacked the sandwich and phone clutching man (neither of which, amazingly, were lost in the scuffle) one bitterly cold Chicago predawn morning. Actors and politicians were too trigger happy, blaming Trump for a hate crime, and the news media fawned and frothed at the idea of a Jussie Smollett interview. ABC was the proud owner of the first, and exclusive, interview and they put all of their eggs in the hate crime basket.
Oops. Now it’s a scramble to distance themselves from what some are now calling the “Smollett Omelet.” Yes, people are fired up over the scandal, Hollywoodites are retreating from public comment, and law enforcement is, well, really pissed. Chicago Police superintendent Eddie Johnson addressed reporters and could barely contain his anger:
“The accusation within this phony attack received national attention for weeks. Celebrities, news commentators and even presidential candidates weighed in on something that was choreographed by an actor.”
You could see the veins in Johnson’s neck as he spat out his rage and continued, “I am left hanging my head asking ‘why?’ Why would anyone — especially an African American man — use the symbolism of a noose to make false accusation.”
Obviously, for a payday.
Chicago resident Dan Harameeyo quipped, “That’ll be $36.74 for your Crime Kit,” and Keyshawn Moore asked the all-important question of Fox: “So does this mean his career is done, finished, arrivederci kick rocks, see you later. after while crocodile, see you and don’t want to be you, Over With?” And that comment was followed by a meme from Jay Frigo featuring designer soap on a rope. Subsequent comments cannot be published.
Even fans of Empire are wanting to lock Jussie in the closet and toss the key. Steven Miranda, who has watched the show from the first season, posted on Empire’s Facebook page, “i am not watching this until the worthless liar is fired from the show.”
Another devoted watcher, Laura Martins, weighed in as well. “It takes a particularly evil person to accuse a whole group of people of a hate crime, when you are, in effect, the person filled with hate. WHY HASN’T JUSSIE SMOLLETT BEEN FIRED FROM THIS SHOW??”
Perhaps his professional demise is imminent, as 20th Century Fox Television and Fox Entertainment finally released a statement which reads, in part: “We understand the seriousness of this matter and we respect the legal process. We are evaluating the situation and we are considering our options.”
But comic relief was finally inserted on the Empire fan page when Jackie Vid, who began her post with “LOL” and followed with “white people have hijacked this page,” calming everyone down Chicago common sense style.
They may live in other locales, but the rest of the nation does love a good dialogue from the folks in flyover country. It is usually respectful, downright clever, and brutally honest when the rest of the country attempts to out politically correct one another over the silliest and insignificant topics du jour.
So grab a glass of wine or a Budweiser and scroll along the latest news of the day with us folks in the flyover states. We always love unexpected company.
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