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Autonomous Zone Coming to a Downtown Near You?

Turns out, self-governance isn't easy for folks who think the government should take care of everything.

An ironic twist of fate in the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ) in Seattle – now apparently known as Capitol Hill Organized Protest, or CHOP: CHAZoids were forced to call first responders (in a neighboring country) to put out a dumpster fire in their newly minted nation after setting it ablaze by being, well, themselves. How embarrassing. Apparently, the creation of a new nation was a good thought, and all that, but they didn’t come up with a budget for fire, medical, or refuse pick-up and they also did not surround and hold hostage in the said new nation, a grocery store or vegan-friendly fast-food chain.

The CHAZoids, 24 hours into their new country, pointed the blame at the homeless for taking their supplies and placed a desperate call for vegan food, soy products, bottled water, and such. Revolution is hard: and one can imagine the Founding Fathers doing coordinated flips in their crypts. They knew what it would take to overthrow a tyrannical government.

This appears to be a tantrum – an epic tantrum – but an easy one to disperse, nevertheless. And that old adage, “you can take the brat out of the basement…” seems to ring especially true. Now what? As with toddler tantrums, let them cry themselves to sleep. Until those screaming, belligerent, destructive toddlers come to a city near you.

Some Cities Are More Strict Parents

The mayor of Seattle is the mom in the store who coddles the screeching child, giving in to the object of said tyrant’s desire while other shoppers in proximity roll eyes and mutter unkind words. Other parents aren’t so tolerant, and that’s when selecting the next takeover location becomes paramount.

Chicago would be an excellent location to cause significant disruption – it’s also likely that, within 24 hours, the 9-1-1 call wouldn’t be about a dumpster fire. Unarmed vegans stand no chance and would be shaken down for their lunch money, stripped naked, and duct-taped to a utility pole.

In Los Angeles, no one would notice the difference between homeless encampments and protesters. Portland anarchist toddlers couldn’t organize a two–camel caravan and gave up rather quickly. And now eyes are trained on Nashville.

Kind of a Dud

Maybe the tantrum-throwing electorate has kept a keen eye on how fabulously the CHAZoids are doing in Seattle and chickened out. It does not look appealing to people who like to bathe and eat. Nevertheless, on Friday night, June 12, a Free Capitol Hill rally sprouted up at Legislative Plaza. Invitations sent by social media advised participators:

“Free Capitol Hill. Come prepared with food, water, tents, chairs, art, music, drums, noisemakers, pots & pans, +any other way to express yourself. Reclaim the Plaza for the People of Tennessee.”

Handfuls of radicals appeared, and threats were made: Several squatters promised to stay put until the governor defunded the police – not his job so much as the Nashville mayor – or they’d spend the night. Commitment. Governor Bill Lee responded in a statement and of course, not in person:

“We encourage Tennesseans to exercise their First Amendment rights and have seen many examples of peaceful protests across our state in recent weeks. As demonstrations continue, we will continue to protect Tennesseans’ right to peaceful assembly, while also reassuring citizens that lawlessness, autonomous zones, and violence will not be tolerated. Further, Tennessee law expressly prohibits camping on state property not expressly designated as a campground area, and that law will be enforced.”

If pictures tell the story, there were more homeless folks camping out than protesters.


Be on the look-out, America, for a CHAZ camp coming to a city near you. Revel in Americans exercising their First Amendment Rights. Laugh at their ridiculous demands, the lack of planning, and the need that anarchists have of the government they are trying to abolish. The nation was founded on civil disobedience and is an agent of change and progress. The media will find a new horror to cover – perhaps a natural disaster (it is tornado season and hurricanes are on the way, after all) to occupy their 24/7 time slots.

Basically, this too shall pass – perhaps like a kidney stone – and hopefully positive change will be the result.


Read more from Sarah Cowgill

Read More From Sarah Cowgill

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