“Oh, the climate in the Swamp is frightful, and the pols not so delightful,” yes, in the spirit of the season, this writer is forgivingly channeling the supreme paraphraser, Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA). It’s been a tumultuous year for the Democrats as some investigations have been put to rest, new ones fabricated, and, after exhausting attempts to overthrow the duly elected man, the somber fact is that Donald Trump is still president. As the nation hurtles toward a brief respite of daily ridiculousness to celebrate the end of 2019, the case is made for everyone to enjoy a lot of responsible imbibing – of eggnog.
Eggnog is a Christmas tradition for Republicans – except for President Trump and Sen. Mitt Romney (sort of R-UT) who avoid alcohol – Democrats, Independents, and every random political party registered in America. It’s rich, creamy, and with the correct amounts of booze will lift your spirits and bring on a thoroughly welcome and warm buzz.
And frankly, the mixture is loved by most cultures so we do not worry that serving it will offend anyone. Well, maybe a few folks out there will always be offended but their relevance is non-existent when it comes to this purest of mood-altering concoctions. And who doesn’t need a mood-altering concoction these days?
A Bit of History
The spiced and spiked egg-yolk-and-cream mixture dates back a millennium or so ago when medieval Britain indulged in “posset,” a hot, milky, ale-like drink. By the 13th century, monks were drinkers of the posset and added their own ingredients of eggs and figs. Wealthy Brits had access to dairy, eggs, and alcohol, and eggnog was their go-to drink to toast their wealth and health. It hopped the pond sometime in the 1700s and has been a favorite since.
President George Washington even penned and published his own recipe, leaving out the number of eggs to use, but most punchbowls – Revolutionary Era or today – hold an even dozen:
“One quart cream, one quart milk, one dozen tablespoons sugar, one pint brandy, 1/2 pint rye whiskey, 1/2 pint Jamaica rum, 1/4 pint sherry—mix liquor first, then separate yolks and whites of eggs, add sugar to beaten yolks, mix well. Add milk and cream, slowly beating. Beat whites of eggs until stiff and fold slowly into mixture. Let set in cool place for several days. Taste frequently.”
Taste frequently: This is why George is on the one-dollar bill.
Politicians Need Eggnog
Let’s face it, the Democrats are sourpusses and need a little sweetness to balance out their seemingly universal Trump Derangement Syndrome. Although they of course will find something impeachable about the use or abuse of the creamy delight, becoming comfortably numb – as Pink Floyd advised – may be in their best interest as they review the end of year news.
- The U.S. economy added 266,000 jobs in November – way ahead of expert forecast. The August and September jobs reports were revised upward, adding 41,000 more jobs to the Trump economic record.
- A recent Quinnipiac poll found that 57% of Americans said they are better off financially since Trump took office.
- Trump’s approval numbers are steady – ticking upward a tad throughout impeachment.
- Stocks reached a record high just days ago as the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above 28,322, marking a 10,000-point gain since Election Day in 2016.
- And, congressional popularity sits at 27% nationwide – at least according to a recent Gallup poll.
Republicans, conservatives, libertarians, well, they need a bit of calm after fighting for the First, Second, Fifth, Sixth – and maybe every – Amendment over the past year. And what better way than celebrating with family and enjoying what Liberty Nation’s Scott Cosenza describes as “an alcoholic drink you don’t have to apologize for drinking well before noon – that alone is worth celebrating.”
Even a vegan can celebrate, as Liberty Nation economic correspondent, Andrew Moran, attests: “Coconut or almond milk eggnog is pretty good.” Well, yes, because you add copious amounts of liquor, Andrew, but it’s just nog.
Regardless of partisanship in the Swamp that appears immortal – much like House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg – every American should be able to come together over the punchbowl and get their eggnog on. And although I am not one to share recipes, I’m in the Christmas spirit these days and will open the fabulous cocktail book for Liberty Nation’s readers. Well, that and the recipe was stolen from a favorite ex-con, Martha Stewart, and modified to fit my narrative. Enjoy! And jeez, everyone, as Trump says, “chill out.” You are making the baby Jesus cry.
- One dozen large eggs – separated
- 1 ½ cups superfine sugar
- 1 quart whole milk
- 1 ½ quarts heavy cream
- 3 cups of bourbon
- ½ cup dark rum
- 2 cups cognac
- 3 shots of coconut or Malibu rum
- Freshly grated nutmeg
First Step – from Martha
In a very large bowl, beat egg yolks until thick and pale yellow. Gradually add sugar to yolks. With a wire whisk, beat in milk and 1 quart cream. Add bourbon, rum, and cognac, stirring constantly.
Second Step – also from Martha
Just before serving, beat egg whites until stiff. Fold into mixture. Whip remaining heavy cream until stiff and fold in. Sprinkle with nutmeg.
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*Please drink responsibly.
Read more from Sarah Cowgill.
