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Campus Follies: SJWs Tackle Halloween

by | Oct 15, 2017 | Columns

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life, but millennials make it oh so painstakingly taxing.  With Halloween quickly approaching, Americans everywhere are getting into the holiday spirit, decorating their homes and brainstorming costume ideas.  In typical millennial fashion, however, college goers decide to ruin the event with their social justice warrior methods, claiming that white individuals are irrefutably racist if choosing to go as the deceased singer Prince or someone from a dissimilar culture.

Bring on the Bigots

Halloween is a time when little boys and girls express their creativity.  The student-run publication 1870 Magazine from Ohio State University, however, created a flowchart of acceptable costume ideas for white Americans who wish to avoid culturally appropriating for the festivities.  As it seems, dressing up in “traditional head attire,” such as what a Native American might wear, or as the deceased pop superstar Prince is bigoted if committed by Caucasians.  The Ohio State pupils deemed acting in contrast to their outfit rules as an example of systematic oppression faced by minorities, and thus decided such costumes must be censored.

The flowchart created by the students caused me to ask a few questions.  If they regard whites as racist if wearing another culture’s attire, is it not considered appropriation for minorities to celebrate this British custom altogether?

SJW Logic

According to the American Folklife Center, Celts began what we today call Halloween about 2,000 years ago and believed the day to symbolize the dead arising and returning to earth.

Whew… as a Puerto Rican, at least I am acceptably light skinned to take part in the festivities without offending the Celts.  That was a close one.  Furthermore, using the hypersensitive social justice warrior logic, is it not offensive to take the Celts’ tradition and disrespectfully turn it into a dress up game?

Nothing New

The incident at Ohio State would not mark the first time the holiday getup would spark controversy on college campuses.  As reported by Campus Reform, Penn State University hung flyers across campus last year urging pupils to abstain from wearing costumes that could be considered offensive to minorities.  Furthermore, protests at Ivy League Yale University ensued after one professor announced that students should embrace choosing outfits that are “a little bit offensive.”  The professor resigned following the uproar.

The 1870 Magazine flowchart is a perfect example of the tactics used by some universities to encourage a social justice warrior mentality.  I would like to see how graduates from these colleges fair in the real world, whining to their bosses and co-workers that every aspect of life is offensive and must be censored.  They are ill prepared and still drinking from the bottle.

Halloween used to be fun and edgy.  We partied like it was 1999, but leave it to millennials to suck out all the fun.  One could only hope that Americans come out precisely as they would please for October 31st because the day is about taking a break and having fun in the midst of our busy lives.  Heck, I do not care if you go dressed as an empanada or bowl of rice and beans: you are not disrespecting my Puerto Rican heritage.  As the last Prince reference of the day, this is what it sounds like when Ohio State social justice warriors cry.

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