In their relentless quest to erase every last ray of happiness from life and make everybody feel miserable or guilty or angry about something, progressives have found another group of people to single out, bully, and victimize. This time though, it has nothing to do with skin color, religion, sexual orientation, or “gender,” whatever that is, and there is a very simple way for you, dear reader, to determine whether you are part of this new group of despicables.
Simply head downtown – wherever downtown is for you – and walk around until you find someone who is obviously a leftist and then give them the finger; flip them the bird, if you will. It will brighten your day, although that’s not the point of this exercise. Make a mental note of which finger you used. Was it the middle finger of your left hand or your right? If the latter, then you are a beneficiary of the “unearned privilege” of being right-handed.
The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, another once-great educational institution that has turned into a complete circus, recently hosted a presentation by Christina Parle, a left-wing activist who works for a company called Social Responsibility Speaks. Parle did what all leftists do; she waffled on about privilege and oppression. She also subjected her captive audience – for this lecture was part of a mandatory program – to a presentation on “right-handed privilege.” Apparently, life is just easier for right-handed people: they have a greater sense of belonging, the world is organized for them, and they enjoy more access, more opportunity, and more advantage.
It is true, of course, that the world is largely organized for right-handed people, and that’s because only about 10% of the human beings on planet Earth are lefties – which makes one reflect upon how much better life would be if left-wingers were as rare as left-handers.
“Privilege” is the New “Fascism”
But, back to the subject at hand. The activist left has launched an all-out war on privilege and, in doing so, has attempted to turn it into a dirty word; an insult, even. Like “racism” and “fascism,” leftists now direct the word “privilege” against any individual or group of people they don’t like, which, at this point, means everyone who is not one of them. They have no idea what “racism” means, and they certainly couldn’t define “fascism.” Likewise, they tend to use the word “privilege” entirely out of context. If you don’t agree with them, you’re a racist or a fascist – or privileged.
If it seems puzzling that they harp on about privilege every time they get upset about something, it really isn’t. Left-wing political philosophy is based on grievance, jealousy, and anger. Leftists believe – or claim to believe – the better life is for one group of people, the worse it is for another. There is a direct correlation between the two, in their minds. Literally, one only becomes wealthy by impoverishing someone else; nobody succeeds without making others fail. This is all nonsense, of course, but to explain why is a subject for another day.
You Gotta Hand It to Lefties
Full disclosure: this author is left-handed, as are an unusually high percentage of Liberty Nation writers. We lefties are a proud people with a rich heritage. We are achievers, inventors, and creators. At least eight U.S. presidents were left-handed. The first man to walk on the moon was a lefty. We’ve got Aristotle, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, David Bowie, and Jimi Hendrix. We claim one-third of the Marx Brothers – none of whom were ever quite as ridiculous as their cousin, Karl. We have Marie Curie, Babe Ruth, Bill Gates, Joan of Arc, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Mozart, Napoleon, and Julius Caesar. We’ve even got a couple of black people, such as Spike Lee and Morgan Freeman. Leonardo da Vinci? Left-handed. Leonardo DiCaprio? Who gives a f… a fig?
So, we’ve done OK for ourselves. It appears the right supremacists have not been able to keep us down. Sure, it’s not easy to find a left-handed hammer, vacuum cleaner, or sponge, but I have a left-handed mouse and I carry a gun with ambidextrous functionality. What more could I want? Right-handed privilege? Piffle. Poppycock. A right-handed person has no idea what hand I’m going to slap him with. At school, I got out of playing cricket – a team sport even more tedious than baseball – because I was left-handed. Things aren’t so bad for us southpaws.
Real “unearned privilege” is getting paid big bucks to lecture students about oppression or, well, privilege. In fact, the most privileged people in America today are the ones whining about privilege. The rest of us, right- and left-handers alike, would be enormously privileged if they would just shut the hell up.
~ Read more from Graham J. Noble.