Editorial note: This is the first of a weekly column by National Correspondent Tess Lynne focusing on the fruits, nuts, and flakes found west of the Mississippi – way west. Often titled the Left Coast for good reason, Tess looks at living in a land largely operated by the extreme leftist movement. Be sure to stay tuned each Wednesday for “Life on the Left Coast: Where truth is Stranger than Fiction.”
While it’s true the Left Coast is filled with odd and unusual leftist legislation not to mention just plain weird people; it seemed an apropos time to take a closer look at the old laws still on the books out here in La La Land. Perhaps the truth is stranger than fiction out among the redwoods. You decide.
This mostly blue state is home to the Silicon (Silicone might be more appropriate) Valley, Hollywood, and the University of California, and of course, ever-lovin’ Berkeley aka “Berserkley” – as many refer to it out here. This is the spot where citizens cry foul every time something doesn’t go their way. Remember the students at Berserkley who demanded the teacher give the “Educated Students of Color” a take-home test and more time to prepare while everyone else was trying to take their exams? You can’t make this stuff up, folks.
Residents of this liberal state profess to be progressive and accepting of everyone, and take every opportunity to speak out against … well … everything. So, here’s a couple of the state’s strangest laws that, while still legally enforceable, are not being upheld.
In the city of Walnut: No man or boy shall dress as a girl or woman without a permit from the sheriff, except for the purpose of amusement, show or drama. Apparently, it is okay for females to dress as males. Either way, this surely goes against the state’s transgender policies. Why isn’t there anyone picketing this city for such a sexist law?
Also in the city of Walnut (what’s up with this place?): No person shall wear a mask or disguise on a public street without a permit from the sheriff. Think Halloween here. Okay, kids; let’s get to the sheriff’s office to get our permits to go trick-or-treating. Today, even this fun and ghoulish holiday is being threatened from those who find offense in everything. Liberty Nation recently covered a story where certain costumes were deemed bigoted if worn by Caucasians!
Ah, scenic Oregon; home to the Ducks, the quaint town of Ashland where the Shakespeare Festivals are held, and the tangle of bridges and friendly ANTIFA protestors in Portland. This state is a blend of conservatives and liberals, all bellowing against each other to advance their particular agenda. Portland, with its museums and city life, is a popular place to hold “peaceful” riots and protests.
In Klamath Falls: It’s against city rules to use any “abusive language or gesture(s)” in a public place to purposefully cause alarm or annoy people. There’s that pesky restriction on freedom of speech again. To cause alarm; okay, that makes sense. We don’t need a bunch of people running around crying wolf and freaking out the population. But not to “annoy people?” Now that is an impossible task. The extreme left has their “offense” alert at DEFCON 4 at all times.
The city of Yamhill outlaws any “occult arts,” meaning any action of astrology, fortune telling, clairvoyance, and so on, to attempt to tell the future, locate stolen property, give advice, and other actions. Put those tarot cards away, folks; newspapers better stop publishing horoscopes, and whatever you do, do not read any palms to promise someone a long and healthy love life.
The evergreen state; home of the Seattle Seahawks, the Space Needle, music legends, and of course protestors. Having moved from the Central Valley (CA), a small farming community, to the Seattle area, I am perpetually amazed at this ultra-liberal state. It seems every day someone is protesting about something. They major in stupid out here. Take the city councilman, who refused to have the sidewalk outside of city hall power washed to clean away human feces because he thought it was racist. Alrighty then. It’s difficult to go into Seattle without seeing at least one march or protest on a daily basis. Take a gander at some of these laws still on the Seattle books:
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag. However, it is perfectly okay to kneel during the National Anthem or, as the Seahawks did during one game, stay in the locker room during the anthem.
Washingtonians are passionate about their professional sports teams, and, apparently, their alcohol: Destroying another person’s beer cask, barrel, keg, or bottle is strictly forbidden, as is filling those things without the owner’s written consent.
You’ll be amazed to hear there are plenty of pubs that disobey the city of Lynden’s law: Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment. Assuming, of course, the law is referring to spirits and not anything liquid. But how crazy is this? Come on; dancing makes you thirsty!
Cue the drum roll – this last mindless law just about sums up the old laws out here that may have started the Left Coast down its slippery descent. It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town. “Hello, Chief? I thought I’d stop by a few banks and rob them on my way through town. Just a head’s up.” Do the lawmakers think someone with criminal intent is going to be a law-abiding citizen and warn them ahead of time?
So, there you have it. A blast from the past with an eye toward a future filled with nutty laws. If past is prologue, there will never be a shortage of material for our dear readers from Life on the Left Coast.
Until next week!