Editor’s Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation’s longest running and most popular weekly column. Capturing the truth each week from heartlanders in flyover states, LN gives voice to the hard-working Americans otherwise ignored by the coastal elites.
It was another exciting week as the Heartland discovered why Vice President Kamala Harris took over President Joe Biden’s schedule and had another bout of “Do we really need all this LGBTQ clamor in our national pastime?” Cheers, jeers, and queers made the conversation rounds in red states, to no one’s surprise whatsoever.
What They Didn’t Tell You
Kamala Harris unofficially grabbed the mantle of power for about 12 hours on Monday. It seems the president was in a fair amount of pain, distracting his mind from saving the “soul of the nation.” The diagnosis: Scranton Joe needed a root canal. In a letter from Kevin O’Connor, the president’s personal physician, there was an ache in his lower right premolar.
“Our Presidential Dental Team from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center was able to perform an examination, to include x-rays, in the White House Dental Operatory,” the letter read. “As a result, the team decided a root canal was appropriate.”
In the Four Corners area – New Mexico, Colorado, Arizona, and Utah, for those who may read this column from the right and left coastal regions – the gas and oil people were quick to chime in. George Reid asked, “Did they misspell frontal lobotomy?” Dave Metcalf jumped right in, “I love George Reid’s answer, but I think it was a cover story for something else. Nothing these people do is straightforward. It’s all slithery and sideways.”
In the high desert of Eastern New Mexico, Susanne Shanley queried: “Wondering what they are covering up under the guise of a ‘root canal’?” And Lucy Cowgill in Scottsdale pondered, “I didn’t know you got a root canal on dentures.”
But Champ Van Curen in Fountain County, Indiana, made the most sense: “It’s Trump’s fault, right?”
In 2021, Harris became the first woman ever to hold presidential power when Biden invoked the 25th Amendment and underwent general anesthesia for a colonoscopy. Harris seemed to enjoy that brief moment of supremacy.
Why Can’t We All Get Along, LGBTQ Folks?
The Los Angeles Dodgers were testing the waters of the #BudLighting movement as they honored the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (SPI), a group of queer and trans “nuns” that mock the Catholic church and the crucifixion of Jesus. The Dodgers believe this group has explicitly made landmark contributions to the LGBTQ community.
But the timing of the Pride event seemed evil and calculated to cause hurt: It coincided with the Catholic feast day of the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Having just been awarded the Community Hero Award, the SPI swarmed the baseball stadium just before the Dodgers’ match against the San Francisco Giants. Did they stay and take in the national pastime? Doubtful. the Dodgers calculated more folks went through the gates than the usual attendance, but how long the LGBTQ folks stayed after the award ceremony isn’t something they tabulate.
The Los Angeles Times, on the other hand, did count the protesters. Organized by Catholics for Catholics, more than 2,000 people gathered outside the stadium. The group led a “prayerful procession” and held signs such as “Men Can’t Be Nuns/Sisters” and “Sacred Heart of Jesus Have Mercy On Us.” Indeed.
Dallas, TX, had something to say through Shane Crowell: “Ask yourself why a bunch of dudes would be dressed up like that and doing it besides the fact to cause an issue. Just cause its California, and you can doesn’t mean you should do it. There are people in prison for the fact they could just do dumb sh-t too.”
The Team fired back. Dodgers manager Dave Roberts responded to the hullaballoo, saying, “We’re not always going to agree with everyone’s decisions in life,” adding, “We should still all be able to coexist.”
Tom Brunjak in Pueblo, CO, disagrees: “The time has come to push back.”
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