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Beto’s Lackluster Apology Tour Won’t Cut It

It’s cold, man, when the media mob takes after you.

“As I neared the young ones, I put all my weight on my right foot, keeping the accelerator pedal on the floor until I heard the crashing of the two children on the hood, and then the sharp cry of pain from one of the two,” wrote Psychedelic Warlord, the pseudonym for a former congressman, in his recently uncovered deeply disturbing killing spree manifesto published in the late 1980s.

No, this isn’t an episode of the CBS serial killer drama Criminal Minds.  But it does come from the seemingly disturbed mind of one Democrat darling, Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke.

In the days since Beto announced he was “born to do this” and tossed his hat into the uber crowded Democratic presidential primary, the elite media have been working overtime to dig up disgusting dirt. And they hit the motherlode.

Oh, Beto, What Happened?

No doubt Beto yearns for those blissful days running against Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), when unseating the incumbent was all that mattered. But Beto lost, and reparations are due for the cover provided by news outlets back then, and they want their payback in pounds of flesh.

Whether Reuters, Associated Press, and national news outlets knew about the fantasy rantings of a teenage boy remains in the dense fog of a swirling alt-left conspiracy: What’s crystal clear is Beto is now fair game.

Reuters first published an excerpt of Beto’s serial killing short story immediately after his presidential announcement, demanding a response.  The candidate, presumably shocked that his friends in the press had turned on him, replied:

“I’m mortified to read it now, incredibly embarrassed, but I have to take ownership of my words. Whatever my intention was as a teenager doesn’t matter. I have to look long and hard at my actions, at the language I have used, and I have to constantly try to do better.”

That’s not creepy in the least – looking for ways to “do better” when it comes to language and thoughts and all that.

Beto incurred the wrath of elite media types when on the campaign trail in Iowa he dissed his patient and assuredly long-suffering wife by joking that she was raising three kids “sometimes with my help.”

That’s strike one in the Democrat checklist: Don’t alienate single mothers who are feminists.

He apologized to his wife in his typical weird non-apology style, “Not only will I not say that again, but I will be much more thoughtful in the ways that I talk about my marriage.”

Other newsies, released from the bonds of selective reporting, have now joined in the Beto beat-down, and all bets are off when it comes to his presidential platform, past policy decisions, teenage and young adult indiscretions, and rich white boy privilege. No one likes an entitled white guy these days.

And the candidate doesn’t help himself in curtailing his boisterous self-important view of deserving the job at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Recently, he boasted to Vanity Fair, “I don’t ever prepare a speech.”

And although he obviously needs media training, or at least a mirror, to tame his wildly gesticulating arms while speaking (it’s terribly distracting), his lack of work ethic is causing leftist feminists to arm themselves with bats for additional whacks at the Beto pinata.

Beto O’Rourke

Arwa Mahdawi, columnist for The Guardian, was incensed that the El Paso pol was feeling confident enough to run for president and took a swipe: “Like many privileged people, Beto seems to have confused his luck for God-given talent, a talent so spectacular that he doesn’t need to do the hard work mere mortals do.”

Let’s face it, strikes two and three are imminent, unless he morphs into a self-identifying black woman. Still, chances are slim he makes it to the final round in the ultimate 2020 cage fight.

The tally of sins — hacking, DUIs, breaking and entering, joshing about your wife, gesticulating — versus heartfelt apologies is holding steady: too many to count to zero.

But there is still time for redemption.

That Tried-and-True Formula

Democrats are absolute masters at sinning until caught, denying the sin, finally acknowledging said sin that wouldn’t stay buried, and then apologizing. It works. America loves a groveling sinner seeking forgiveness.

Time will tell if Beto can apologize enough for his teen years spent writing fantasies of murdering random people, including what he claimed under the Psychedelic Warlord nom de plume were “ultra-trendies” (faddishly popular people), children who were too innocently happy, and other unfortunate folks with whom he crossed paths.

Of course, if he starts profusely repenting today for sins known and unknown, perhaps he can land a No. 2 on the ticket tomorrow.  If not, he may have a career writing for Criminal Minds.

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