The Chicago Bears are about to move out of Chicago and across the state line into Hammond, Indiana. They cite taxes, regulations, and the lack of upgrades for Soldier Field as motives. Meanwhile, Maine’s Graham Platner is seriously becoming the poster child for crazy progressive politics. Still, James Carville wants to see him in Congress. The tech overlords may be taking over – but Erin Brockovich is on the case. And the heartland is damn happy we don’t have Australia’s bug problem.

Will we ever run out of crazy political situations to talk about?

Good News Bears

It’s so bad in Illinois that even the Chicago Bears are moving out. The Windy City – high on crime, even higher on taxes and regulations, and remarkably low on give-a-damn – has the Chicago Bears relocating their den to Indiana. Hammond, Indiana, to be more precise – and as the song goes: “If you go down to Hammond, it will be the end of us.” The NFL franchise is beloved by Chicagoans and a whole bunch of football fans everywhere, but that didn’t keep JB Pritzker and company from watching their Super Bowl team shuffle right across state lines. Some might say that was a moronic decision, while others believe all the tax revenue that has just been freed up will go to social causes. That is also moronic – but in a different way.

Fans weighed in and were not at all unhappy. Those who do not care for sponsored sports beyond the Pee-Wee league had a moment of hope. More spending on schools, parks, and healthcare after seeing the Obama Presidential Library – well, yeah. A lot of that money will be spent in Indiana. Imagine being the governor who lost the Chicago Bears. In Rockton, IL, Mike Spera offered: “He didn't lose them. I think he ate them.”

There was a lot of noise from the skinny jeans crowd, who cried at first and then went verbally homicidal. One poor schlub asked how they can find resources in the bloated carcass of the state and maybe get the lost revenue back. What could they have done to keep the meal tickets in place?

“Well,” Joseph Godinez of Illinois stated, “nothing close to what I would do for a Klondike bar.” In Paulding, OH, one who will remain respectably anonymous said: “This is what happens when your city is unprofitable, unsafe, and with [sic] an uncooperative government that caused this.” And Brian Mastro, another Chicagoan, advised: “Ask Indiana. They obviously figured it out.”

Hammond is basically a suburb of the once majestic Chicago. And Jackie Schwab, in Brookfield, IL, is following suit: “Honestly, I am happy because as soon as I can move out of Illinois, I am headed that way,” she said. “So it’s a win for me getting my favorite team out of this toxic state.”

More Bad News for Platner

Nazi tat, small business façade, hidden wealthy background … how much worse can it get for Sen. Susan Collins’ (R-ME) challenger from the Democratic Party? From old Reddit articles that could make a seasoned grifter take notes to a new wife that he has already allegedly cheated on, he is, apparently, somehow the perfect candidate to beat Collins.

Like the research minions at the DNC didn’t know just who this guy is. And still, here Platner is, brushing off the heinous truths as if past actions just don’t matter. Few Democrats will come right out and cut him off at the knees – but some will. Rep. Madeleine Dean (D-PA) said Friday that Platner had “disqualified himself” from the race, confessing to CNN that the scandal-a-day reports about his conduct had reached a point of no return. “I think it’s so distressing all of the stories that are coming out, and they’re more and more, it seems, by the hour," Dean said.

But then this guy, James Carville, would rather have Platner in the US Senate than Collins. Well, he did once tell the press he only cares about winning elections. Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA) is calling on Platner’s “redemption” as a selling point. Heartlanders all but said the same as Tennessean Paul Willis: “Look dude, say whatever you wish at this point. But, when one gets a tat, which we all know and understand is a permanent mark, one has put thought into inking that permanent mark, you know what it is and you say, ‘yeah, put it on me.’”

Rick Veccia in Ohio added: “Not remotely shocking that he’s a hero to the degenerate loony left.”

As for Carville, the heartland is done with caring about what he thinks. Bill Pastos in Chicago replied simply: “Make Medication Great Again.” Taking it a step further, Jonathan Linscott of Scottsdale upped the ante: “Make Asylums Great Again.”

Death by Data

Did you get your filtered selfie posted and bask in the likes? Are you redecorating a living space on a Facebook channel because your opinion should be revered? Well, knock it off. Even if free at the point of use, there’s a price we pay for AI. It’s become so immersed in our culture that one well-known activist is trying to educate people to pay attention to the surge in data centers popping up across the country – and, maybe, to be a little less self-obsessed. Erin Brockovich, the woman whose story was made into a movie, is now following the scourge of Big Tech data centers.

As of June 4, there are 33 fully operational centers, 58 under construction, and 36 proposed. These “farms” use unsustainable amounts of water, make a ton of noise, and cost a pile in electricity. And since they need massive amounts of energy, residents will see their bills skyrocket, as well. That crazy neighbor might get a lot nuttier listening to the constant hum.

According to Earth Justice: “[DATA Centers]are enormous facilities that run 24 hours a day, often consuming energy equivalent to that of a whole city to power servers and cooling systems. The largest data centers being constructed today can sprawl over 2,000 acres.”

In Oklahoma, Tyler Wilcox warned: “Enjoy what you have while you still have it, people.”

Data Centers – Oops

But that’s not all that comes out of Big Tech these days. In China, a blue-haired robot dressed as a clown roundhouse kicked a kid in the gut. Add “commie” to the mix, and now we have all our phobias contained in one entity. The weird robot’s impact was reportedly comparable to being hit by a “10-Kilogram Sack of Rice.” For Americans, let’s say that’s 22 pounds.

Jeez, China, first you gift us the weird flu bug, and now killer clown robots? Heartlanders are starting to pay closer attention to AI, data centers, and all their ilk around the globe.

In Murfreesboro, TN, Matthew Kotsch said: “It's gotta be the blue hair.”

In Albert Lea, Minnesota, Travis Brekke asked: “What did you think was gonna happen? We need robots....we need AI.... let's get rid of the penny.... Start with just a penny, soon all physical currency. Laziness is gonna kill the world. The end isn't for everyone, best find Jesus.”

ICYMI

Australia just busted a guy for the illegal harvesting of Madagascar hissing cockroaches. Not your average house varietal, these things are the Schwarzenegger of roaches, growing to an average of two to three inches – twice the size of what most people are used to – well, except for maybe some places in Florida or Hawaii.

Australian wildlife officers took the breeder down and charged him with holding more than 100,000 banned live cockroaches, the largest grab of exotic invertebrates the nation has ever recorded. In Atascocita, TX, Mike Hebert lamented: “You have no idea how hard it is to find a reliable black-market dealer of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches! And now it’s that much harder. The search continues.”

“Who pays two bucks for a cockroach?” Dane Larsen in Houston pondered.

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Editor's Note: From the Back Forty is Liberty Nation's longest running and most popular weekly column.