Green puritanism is the outrage over someone, somewhere being cheerful and grateful with what fossil fuels have given humanity over the last century. You are a heretic, a scoundrel, and a misanthrope if you dare enjoy anything that oil and gas have helped produce since George Bissell and Edwin L. Drake successfully drilled for crude in Pennsylvania in 1859.
The doctrine of environmentalism has metastasized from hugging trees and saving the whales to loathing human progress and wiping out mankind. The eco movement has devolved into parroting the asinine talking points of intersectionality and destroying every advancement created by the inhabitants of the blue pearl of the cosmos in vain aspiration of bringing the population back to the age of the Flintstones.
And, for the last decade, one billion people have highlighted their environmental virtue-signaling for 60 minutes every year.
Turn Off the Lights
March 30’s Earth Hour, the one hour when you are meant to celebrate being in the dark, is a concept spawned in the minds of environmentalists. The purpose behind this globalist-sponsored feel-good event is to promote sustainability, raise climate change awareness, and come up with solutions to global warming.
Like Kramer in Seinfeld who refused to wear the red ribbon during an AIDS march, you will be accused of hating the planet should you refuse to turn off the lights and shut down electrical appliances. Even if you sing the gospel songs of global warming, meticulously read the Book of the IPCC, and worship at the feet of Al Gore, you will be accused of selling your soul to Big Oil.
But does Earth Hour really achieve anything?
First, any energy saved from eating dinner by candlelight and hosting bonfire parties is so negligible that it doesn’t matter at all. Because this would embarrass the World Wildlife Fund, the United Nations, and Bono, the impact Earth Hour has on overall energy consumption and emissions is not even tracked. It has been estimated that if the entire planet shut off every residential light for an hour to slash carbon dioxide emissions, this would merely match China stopping its carbon dioxide output for less than four minutes.
Second, Earth Hour has been found to increase CO2 emissions because people are lighting candles. Because candles are made of paraffin, a hydrocarbon derived from crude oil, burning one of these for an hour emits roughly 10 grams of carbon dioxide. Of course, bonfires, too, are horrific for the environment.
Third, no studies prove that Earth Hour changes behaviors in the long-term. It’s like when moviegoers watched the smash hit documentary Super Size Me, and they vowed to stop eating junk food, exercise more, and do a better job of looking after their health. After a couple of weeks, they made a pitstop at the local McDonald’s to eat a Big Mac and drown their sorrows in an extra-large soda.
One of the greatest economic and social advancements of the 20th century was flooding the planet with an abundance of cheap electricity. It was a bridge to riches never seen before. Today, we are awash in affordable oil, gasoline, and natural gas – and we keep discovering vast reserves that will power the planet for more generations to come.
The Bill Nyes, the Al Gores, and the AOCs of the world blame fossil fuels for every setback the planet has ever experienced. A single polar bear on a floating sheet of melted ice? Blame Exxon. A hot summer’s day? Blame your air conditioner. A hurricane in Florida? Blame your 2005 Toyota Echo.
What these individuals never do is take a moment and thank fossil fuels for today’s prosperity. Everything we take for granted is connected to fossil fuels: mass food supplies, hot water, modern hospitals, ambulances and fire trucks, the international prevalence of technology, and the list goes on. You can go as far as linking energy development to human liberty, from the elimination of the child chimneysweep of the 18th century to the housewife liberated from her home in the Victorian era. Even something as simple as switching on a lamp to read Agatha Christie’s The Murder of Roger Ackroyd at 2 a.m. can be attributed to fossil fuels.
Unfortunately, green zealots want to confiscate this energy prosperity from not only developed countries but also from developing lands that rely on archaic methods for cooking, eating, bathing, and taking care of human excreta. Yet, most of the time, these eco-fascists partake in good old-fashioned for thee but not for me. If they really believe in improving the world by shutting off electricity, then do so at 9:30 a.m. on a Wednesday for an entire year or all day for a whole month – not for a few minutes on a Saturday night.
It shouldn’t be surprising that the main attraction of Earth Hour is living in the dark since the environmentalists want to take us back to the Dark Ages.
A Call to Arms
So, should you feel guilty about the apparent sins of owning an air conditioner and using 100-watt light bulbs? Hardly.
In fact, during Earth Hour, it would be far better to show your pride in what fossil fuels have given us over the last century.
On March 30, from 8:30 to 9:30 p.m., be sure you turn on every lamp, leave every appliance running, keep your electronic gadgets plugged in, wash all your laundry, and cook an elaborate meal. This is the one hour of the year that you should celebrate everything we have achieved up to this point. Better yet, perturb your leftist neighbor who is huddling in the dark with his family as if they were living in North Korea, spouting passages from Gore’s The Assault on Reason.