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Testicular Bill of Rights: The Feminist Answer to Heartbeat Bills?

Aimed at proving the absurdity of “controlling women’s bodies” through abortion bans, the Testicular Bill of Rights doesn’t quite deliver.

by | Mar 23, 2019 | Abortion, Articles, Opinion

Of all the absurd, asinine, ridiculous, ludicrous ideas to come from the female Democrats who took issue with not being allowed to kill babies, the Testicular Bill of Rights may take the cake. The document would call for males 55 years of age and older to report all ejaculations to the local sheriff’s department. “You want our wombs? We’re coming for your testicles” is the catch phrase coined by the author, Georgia state Representative Dar’Shun Kendrick.

This is nothing more than retaliation against the “Living Infants Fairness and Equality (LIFE) Act” (HB 481), also known as the “Heartbeat” bill. Coming from the state of Georgia, HB 481 bans abortions once a heartbeat from the fetus can be detected. It has already passed the House and is now on its way to the Senate, but Kendrick has attempted to rebrand it as the “Women’s Womb Takeover” bill. She said the government has no business telling her (or other women) when she can have a child. Well, duh, birth control! Either that, abstinence, or adoption – killing isn’t the answer, lady. She said she drafted document to “show the absurdity when a woman tries to regulate a man’s body like HB 481 and other anti-choice bill are doing in regulating women’s bodies.”

So, what would this “Bill of Rights” require men to do? Let’s take a look:

  • Obtain permission from their sex partner before they are able to get a prescription for Viagra or any erectile dysfunction medication.
  • Ban vasectomy procedures in Georgia, both in part or whole, with punitive measures for performing the procedure that are listed in HB 481.
  • Make it an “aggravated assault” crime for men to have sex without a condom.
  • Require DNA testing when a woman is 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant (to be performed before she is 8 weeks) to determine the father of the child and who shall IMMEDIATELY start paying child support.
  • A 24 hour “waiting period” for men to purchase any pornography or sex toys in the state of Georgia.

Kendrick has so far introduced HB 604, which states “any male 55 years of age or older shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles.” There are just too many ridiculous issues here to discuss, but let’s look at just a couple of them in a little more depth.

First, men are not trying to regulate women’s bodies; they are trying to protect innocent life. When men ejaculate, they are not killing babies. Well, there are some who would disagree, but we won’t go there in this article. When women menstruate, they are not killing babies – the body is simply discarding unfertilized eggs. But, let’s not get into a scientific explanation of the birds and the bees, but instead concentrate on the more significant issues.

A woman’s body is hers to do with what she wants … until an innocent child is at risk. Abortion is a very touchy subject even when performed in the early stages, before there is a heartbeat announcing life – not to mention the insanity of full-term abortion that some Dems have been pushing and some states have even passed! Once pregnant, what a woman does with her body will directly affect another life – an innocent life that has no way to protect itself. And that, folks, is the reason behind the laws.

On the subject of self-gratification, well, that’s everyone’s individual choice. It is a private matter that doesn’t hurt anyone else, and no other should be involved in that decision or action – unless invited. Talk about government control! Can you imagine if this bill actually passes? Look out, Georgia sheriffs, you’ll have daily crowds outside your department resembling lines at Disneyland on half-price ticket day, waiting for a ride on the Pirates of the Caribbean with a guaranteed meet and greet with Johnny Depp! If men actually reported their intimate actions, the National Guard would have to be called in to fight regular crime while the sheriffs interviewed the male population, asking “How many times did you …”

Now, if the men Kendrick references, whom she claims are trying to control women’s wombs, were to pass a law forbidding them their sex toys, well, that would be trying to control women’s bodies. And, can you imagine the backlash for that?

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