Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends as we take up Part 2 of our special satire on the perfect feminist date. For the entire feminist experience do give Part 1 a read! But we must push on…
In Part 1, we established that there are ten questions radical feminists might ask when they first spend time with someone in whom they are romantically interested. My favorite left-wing blog, Everyday Feminism, recently published a piece entitled “10 Questions Every Intersectional Feminist Should Ask On a First Date.”
The article provides ten different queries that any self-respecting feminist should ask her date on their first outing. After all, everyone knows that people LOVE to be grilled incessantly on political and social matters the first time they hang out with a new person.
In the first piece, we discussed Black Lives Matter, the Arab-Israeli conflict, sexism, and a bunch of other cool topics. We even learned what the term “misogynoir” means.
In this next section, you will learn the right and wrong answers to the rest of the ten queries.
Godspeed, white knight!
6. What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights?
“A key part of intersectionality is having a complete understanding of how historical and current policies endangered the lives of millions of people, simply because of white supremacy and the colonialist entitlement to finite resources and land.”
Wrong Answer: Yep, white Europeans did a lot of terrible things to Native Americans. I believe we have evolved as a society and, hopefully, will never make that mistake again. Why are we talking about this on our first date?
Right Answer: Wow, I was hoping you would ask me about colonialism and indigenous people on our first date! Here’s my answer: White people are a blight on the face of the earth for what they did to the indigenous people that were here first. Every white person living today shares the blame for what their ancestors did. The sad part is that nobody knows the history of what happened between the whites and the natives. That’s why I’m pushing for Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History Of The United States” to be required reading in all public schools, starting with Kindergarten.
7. Do you think capitalism is exploitative?
“Anti-capitalism, especially in the U.S., is imperative if you have an understanding of systemic racism, the prison industrial complex, the 13th Amendment, and exploitation. Capitalism, for one, teaches us that we are only valuable if we produce capital. That means that if you aren’t contributing to the system with your labor, your life means almost nothing.”
Wrong Answer: I don’t think capitalism tells us that our lives mean nothing if we don’t contribute to the system. It just means that we are entitled only to what we earn, not what someone else has earned. It’s not a perfect system, but it’s the best one we have. Besides, socialism is the true exploitative system — it forces its people to work only to make the government more powerful, without providing a better quality of life for its citizens.
Right Answer: Under capitalism, I have to work to get what I want — which is problematic, and somehow racist. As a socialist, I think those who earn the most should be forced to give the most — even to people who may not have earned it. That’s why I support the government having more control over those stingy rich people who won’t pay for my education, housing, car, food, and my Play Station. I mean, under a socialist government, what could go wrong? Look at how Venezuela and Cuba have prospered!
8. Can any human be illegal?
“White Americans stole this land, colonized this land, created so many borders, pushed out, killed and enslaved people of color, and somehow they have the audacity to claim that this land is theirs and that black and brown immigrants are stealing their jobs, land, and homes? Miss me with that bullshit.”
Wrong Answer: Acts that were committed hundreds of years ago by Europeans do not mean that the U.S. is obligated to allow any and every one to immigrate here. We have the right to enforce our borders, just as every other nation does. It’s necessary for preserving our American culture and keeping our people safe.
Right Answer: Let everybody in right now! Immigration laws are racist — unless they are imposed by Mexico, Columbia, Saudi Arabia, or any other country that doesn’t have a predominantly white population. It doesn’t matter who we let in, where they are from, or what values they hold. They all deserve to live here. Let the rich pay for them.
9. Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries?
“Don’t waste your time and energy on dating someone who thinks that Islam is inherently violent or misogynistic.”
Wrong Answer: I have no problems with the majority of Muslims — the ones who wish to live their lives in peace like everyone else. I only take issue with the ones who want to blow me up. That’s fair, isn’t it?
By the way, how are women faring in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan and many of the African nations where Islam is the predominant religion? Sure, not every Muslim society oppresses women, but in many of these nations, women are subject to beatings, lack of education, female circumcision, and other forms of brutality.
Right Answer: Terrorism has nothing to do with Islam. Radical Muslims only kill people because white Christian men and their Islamophobia make them do it. American Muslims live in constant fear of being attacked by bigoted white guys who hate them, and it’s not right. As for sexism, Saudi Arabia is allowing women to drive now, so it’s all good, right?
10. Does your allyship include disabled folks?
“Disabled folks are subject to shaming and violence because humans are awful and lack empathy. Be mindful of others who mock disabled people; that kind of cruelty is inexcusable.”
Wrong Answer: People who commit violence against the disabled are repugnant and should be locked up. But is this really a thing? According to the F.B.I., hate crimes against people with disabilities only made up about 1.2% of all hate crimes committed last year. So, it does happen, but fortunately, it’s not an epidemic.
When it comes to shaming, I agree that many still hold ignorant views towards mental illness and there is still a stigma. It’s something about which many of us could learn. But I don’t think most people are not sympathetic towards those who deal with mental illness.
Right Answer: I see myself as a champion for the disabled. I think about them, I talk about them, and I’ve never once parked in a handicap spot when I’m going to the store.
So there you have it, my friends. Now you are ready to avoid the landmines and pitfalls of your perfect feminist date! Call our Chatline to tell me how it went.
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