Satire: The Secret Conservative Push for White Nationalism

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Have you ever wondered why leftists find racism in every single situation? Have you marveled at the social justice left’s ability to root out sexism even where it doesn’t exist? If so, you’re no different from any other normal person who doesn’t have time to seek out bigotry in our everyday lives.

Recently, The Atlantic published a piece titled “The White Nationalists Are Winning.” In the article, the author argues that white supremacist messages have become a part of the mainstream conservative culture. Indeed, a significant number of prominent conservatives are furthering the white supremacist cause by covertly disseminating racist propaganda.

You might be tempted to think that these folks are simply twisting the words of people like Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, or President Donald Trump to reflect racist attitudes, but are they really? Maybe the social justice left has a point. Liberty Nation decided to explore the issue further by speaking with members of the National Association of Race Baiters (NARB).

Leftist Groups Uncover Hidden Racism

So how do our friends on the left manage to find racism, sexism, Islamophobia, and other types of bigotry in so many areas of American society? We asked Sam Lowell, Vice President of NARB and a first-class race-baiter. “Bigotry permeates every aspect of our culture,” he said. “Every person of color experiences racism every single day. Women are constantly subjected to sexism. Muslims are routinely beaten up for their religion. Pretty much everyone who isn’t a white Christian male is a victim of bigotry on a regular basis.”

Lowell contends that most Americans are blind to the overwhelming presence of bigotry in our society because these exhibitions of white supremacy are hidden. But when one has their eyes opened, they can see it everywhere.

NARB has developed a peculiar product called “Bigotry-Colored glasses” that their members use to reveal the bigotry that pervades our everyday lives. By wearing these glasses, the user can translate thousands of dog whistles to which we are constantly exposed. “We use the glasses to accurately identify bigoted statements on television, film, radio, and other mediums,” said Linus Belton, the inventor of the product.

How Bigotry-Colored Glasses Work

The glasses can help one interpret the true meaning behind the words of conservatives. Let’s take Fox News host Tucker Carlson, for example. He once said “Terrorism is a largely immigrant phenomena. Not exclusively, but largely, with immigrants and their children committing or attempting dozens of terror attacks in recent years.”

It sounds like Carlson is explaining that some Muslim immigrants might carry out terrorist attacks. However, when you analyze this statement using the glasses, it’s clear that he’s really saying: ‘I hate Muslims. Every single one of them. We should send them all back to Afghanistan!”

President Trump’s tweets also provide some key insights. A few days before the Unite the Right 2 rally in Washington D.C., he tweeted: “The riots in Charlottesville a year ago resulted in senseless death and division. We must come together as a nation. I condemn all types of racism and acts of violence. Peace to ALL Americans!”

On the surface, it appears that the president is condemning racism. But when you wear the glasses, you can see what he is really saying: “I LOVED what happened in Charlottesville and I hope it happens again! I hate Mexicans!”

When attacking CNN journalist Don Lemon, Trump tweeted: “Lebron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike!”

It seems that this tweet was an insult against two individuals, not an entire race. But when wearing the glasses, you can see what Trump was truly saying:

“Even though I insult whites far more often than blacks, this tweet is really about the fact that I think black folks are dumb — not just an attack on two people who have unfairly criticized me. Ignore the fact that I said I like Michael Jordan, who is black. Everyone knows that anytime a white person insults a black person, it’s because he’s a raging bigot.”

Conservative pundit Ben Shapiro recently showed his underlying sexism when he challenged Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to a debate. The Senatorial candidate — who owns several pairs of the Bigotry-Colored Glasses — saw the challenge for what it was, a catcall. She tweeted: “Just like catcalling, I don’t owe a response to unsolicited requests from men with bad intentions.”

When you use the eyewear, you can clearly see that when Shapiro says “I want to debate Ocasio-Cortez,” he is really saying: “This is totally a catcall. It puts New York construction workers to shame. Here kitty kitty kitty! I hate Mexicans too!”

The glasses don’t just work with public statements — they can also be used for everyday occurrences. Leslie Arrington, a staffer for NARB, stated that she once ran into conservative comedian Steven Crowder while standing in line at a Starbucks. “When he saw me, he said ‘hi!’” she said. But the glasses gave a more accurate translation of the greeting. Apparently, by saying “hi,” Crowder actually said: “Women are only good for cooking, cleaning, and being chattel. We need sexist laws like those in Saudi Arabia. Those guys know what they’re doing. Also, I hate black people and gays.”