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From the Back Forty: Big Bugs, Biden, and Karmic Justice

What's the latest word from the heartland?

by | May 29, 2021 | Columns, Politics

Editor’s Note: From The Back Forty is Liberty Nation’s longest-running and most popular weekly column. Capturing the “truth” each week from heartlanders in Fly Over states, Liberty Nation gives voice to the hard-working Americans otherwise ignored by the coastal elites.

[bookpromo align=”right”] Big bugs, Joe Biden, and karma’s unexpected visit to Atlanta had flyover folks name-calling city-slickers, labeling the presidency as a Ronco enterprise, and snickering about politicians who get run over by their own policies. What else can the good people of the heartland do?

The Home Shopping Network Has Been Notified

On the popular Fox News program The Five, Greg Gutfeld went off on a rant about President Joe Biden and the lack of what he calls transparency within the circle-the-wagon administration. Gutfeld accused the White House of intentionally keeping its far-left agenda under wraps.

Here’s how it all began:

“Look, the campaign strategy that Biden had is the same strategy he has now as a president. The key feature is no transparency. Everything the White House does is meant to prevent you from seeing how hard-left the mission has become.”

Some say Joe is still in the basement. Gutfeld didn’t comment one way or another on Biden’s location. Still, he continued blasting away, painting images of a household mainstay from the 1960s – Ronco: “Joe is more like a paid spokesman for an infomercial for a product you never actually see.” Some surmise that product is socialism.

As rural Indianan Kirsten Carnahan said, “But wait, if you order right now, we’ll include a vice president no one can find too!”

Cicada 1 – CNN 0

City folks have allegedly been known to annoy the hearty heartlanders much more than any insect possibly could. This spring, everyone knew it would be the Year of the Cicada. Everyone. And as entomologists warned, newly hatched Brood X Cicadas, that spend 17 years of their lives underground, would appear. Hatchlings fall from the trees, irritate and terrify the wimpier folks, and then head underground to suck up sap from tree roots, only to do it all again in 2038. They make lovely evening music if anyone is interested.

But the tune CNN’s chief congressional correspondent sang was of a different variety after a close encounter. As the camera crew stood primed and ready to record, on-air talent Manu Raju felt a presence on his neck, reached up and found a two-inch-long winged Cicada. And then Raju screamed like a spoiled schoolgirl, intoning foul language in a high-pitched tenor. “S–t! F—-ing cicada!” Well, that kept producers busy bleeping out the professional lingo for a minute as the crew on-site held back guffaws and belly laughs.

It is with joy we report that Raju has survived the big bug encounter. But not without some zingers from rural people across the nation. Judy Jones in Tennessee Colony, TX, came off a tad harsh: “Good grief. It’s just a harmless bug. I’ve played with those since I was just a little kid. They don’t hurt anybody. That pitiful wuss needs to grow a pair.”

In Bullhead City, AZ, Dave Melanso pointed out, “I’d have guessed that the Cicada would have shown better taste than to be seen with someone from CNN.”

Another Texan gets the last word on Raju and the Cicada incident. As Canelo Martinez said, “He handled it well.”

Karma Never Calls First – It’s Her Thing

An Atlanta city councilman now running for mayor is feeling the effects of voting to defund the police. Running on the campaign promise, “reimagining public safety,” Councilman Antonio Brown stepped out of his 2016 Mercedes 450 to speak with a passerby at a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a Dunkin/Baskin Robbins grand opening. It was broad daylight at 11:45 in the morning when four young males hopped in the vehicle, gunned it, and half-dragged the councilman for about a block who valiantly tried to stop the steal by hanging onto the trunk.

Brown had voted to withhold $73 million from the Atlanta Police Department budget. But no one thinks that is why it took 45 minutes for officers to respond. The local daily, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, reported that Brown told it the kids were approximately “seven to 12 years old” and one “acted as though he had a gun.”

Brown is not pressing charges at this time, but some heartlanders believe that will soon change. Ronnie Evenson in Kindred, ND, snorted, “the fool didn’t press charges … confirming to them that criminal actions have no consequences. What a great life lesson. And this is a glaring example of liberal leadership run amok.”

In Phoenix, Jon Jones had a message for the councilman, “Guess what, Insurance won’t pay without filing a report. Let’s see if you change your tune after being out 40-60k. You will just donate it to the cause, right?”

And we also heard from Hoover, Alabama’s own Chris Bardo, who assured us all this crime was being handled properly: “It’s ok they have the best social workers on it.”

And that’s where we leave it this week.


Read more from Sarah Cowgill.

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