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Flyover Folk Across the Heartland Dispense Advice for Confused Dems

They can’t count, they can’t impeach, and they can’t behave during speeches. The Democrats need help.

Editor’s Note: While the media and other leftist elites ignore the millions of folks living in “flyover” states, they do so at their own peril; it was this silent majority that put President Trump in the White House. Each week, Liberty Nation gives voice to the hard-working heartlanders who are silent no more.

Game. Set. Match. Across the heartland flyover folks mused that Iowa Democrats cannot count, cheered the president for a State of the Union Speech, jeered at Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) for a classless act, and danced a jig as the United States Senate acquitted Donald J. Trump on two articles of impeachment. It was an exhausting few days of a political whirlwind cast upon the good people of America.

And yet, not one American was too tuckered to engage in a healthy – sometimes snarky – discussion of events in the Swamp.

Io-What Happened

All eyes were on Iowa for the first caucus of the 2020 election cycle. Truthfully, all eyes are bleary, red, and still trained on Iowa as no one can count in the Democratic Party. Blaming an app malfunction, Russians, Trump, and the Democratic National Committee, all candidates decided to claim victory. Mayor Pete Buttigieg was so early to declare, a new hashtag, #MayorCheat, hit Twitter and took on a life of its own.

Texan Jim Jones smelled conspiracy on the upstart, “They screwed Bernie in 2016 and that’s what they are doing now. They can’t let him win so this whole fiasco was designed to allow them to manipulate the data so it appears this no name Mayor from small town Indiana won.”

And then Wisconsin led with Kathie McCallister commenting, “Could it be that their chosen candidate came in 4th, and they don’t want anyone to know the truth while they scramble to juggle the numbers?” While down the road a pace Kevin Everson wondered why “This only happens to Democrats. There’s ALWAYS a box of ‘oops here’s another box of uncounted ballots!’”

Iowans will be hesitant to allow the Democrats to count the ballots for their local high school prom king and queen. Rumor has it, Sesame Street’s Big Bird is on his way to help them learn to count.

A State of the Union Address to Melt Dems

GettyImages-1460067643 Nancy Pelosi

Nancy Pelosi (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)

This year’s State of the Union Address was a bit different. The speaker veered from protocol and announced “the president of the United States” without the fancy words, “Members of Congress, I have the high privilege and distinct honor of presenting to you …”

Trump then appeared to snub her attempt to shake his hand. “Appeared” because he didn’t shake the Vice President’s hand either and seemed to have moved on to friendlier faces. At the end of what was a beautifully crafted and delivered speech, Madam Speaker made a great showing of ripping the document into strips with her classic smarmy grin.

In a presser, Ms. Pelosi told reporters, “I tore up a manifesto of mistruths.” Which also violates 18 United States Code 2071 that states you can’t destroy historical documents. Oops. Here’s what part (b) says:

“Whoever, having the custody of any such record, proceeding, map, book, document, paper, or other thing, willfully and unlawfully conceals, removes, mutilates, obliterates, falsifies, or destroys the same, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both; and shall forfeit his office and be disqualified from holding any office under the United States,”

Why are Democrats so dang stupid at times?

In Wisconsin, yes, they were very chatty this week, Nancy Polokovich worried about the other Nancy’s health: “She’s a dramatic mess!”

Karen Browne hopes to help her feel liberated: “She, said she feels liberated after tearing up her copy of the State of the Union. So, let’s give her a gift we all know she deserves. Let’s vote her out of office!”

In Texas, Tonya Eschete Woods also felt liberated, “I was worried that President Trump would lose his cool at the State of the Union. He did very well … pushing Nancy to lose her cool!” But Arizonan Joe Nickols had the best idea, “Maybe AOC can mix a drink to calm you down. Whoops, I forgot…you two don’t play well together.”


Finally, the internet nearly broke as President Trump’s long-awaited impeachment acquittal occurred on Wednesday, February 5, late in the afternoon. Flyover folks and conservatives across the nation and abroad rejoiced. Nearly every post led with, as Trump said in his message to Americans, “that beautiful word” acquitted.

As Midwesterner Rick Ruoff, who seemed to speak for the masses, said, “This astounding waste of 5 months and needless torture of the American people in order to undermine our rights and now claim that Republicans ‘acted unfairly’? The Democrats got their heads handed to them.”

And the crowd went wild.


Read more from Sarah Cowgill.

Read More From Sarah Cowgill

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